Upcoming Nuptials & Adulting

Hi Ladies! My  friend’s wedding is exactly 20 days away and I’m freaking out. Its a very big and eventful day. Also one of my closest friends will be someone’s wife soon. I’m going to have to call her Mrs. The next big event for her will be having a baby. This is crazy ya’ll.

Also as I’m getting older or maturing, I’m like seriously figuring people out. The best thing about getting older is getting wiser. Like you start to know who are your real friends and who aren’t. You get to the phase where you don’t care what people do because they always acts in they’re own best interest. Time to accept friendships that have deteriorated and to work on the people who really show you they care. You start to figure out yourself and start to actually like yourself which is so important.

I like me and I know I need some improvements but I’m working on them. Looking for that special person who likes me as much as I do. Tongue ring is still present but we are taking it slow and I’m hoping that its going in a positive direction.

Golden Rule: Being an adult is hard.

Tips For Dudes: Encourage your girl to figure herself out, she’ll help you figure stuff out too don’t worry.

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Status Confirmed

Happy Spring Ladies!

There has been a few developments since the last time we chatted lol. Tongue Ring made it official and has confirmed that we are indeed in a relationship. He asked me to be his GF, so it doesn’t get more official than that. I figure that maybe he didn’t want to label the relationship too quickly because past relationships were probably messed up.

In other news, we sealed the deal if you know what I mean. (wink wink). Lets just say the tongue ring was definitely an asset. Oh please date a guy with a tongue ring before you settle down if you have the chance LOL. Which most people don’t because they are already married and I am way behind the game. OMG this is going to a dark place all of a sudden.

Besides that everything is pretty normal. Went to Niagara Falls for a family getaway which was nice. I am having a late-twenties crisis which is also normal. I am dating someone again after giving up so many times in the past. Typical late-twenties stuff. Is everyone still getting married around me? YUP.

Its now random people on FB that I knew when I was like 15 and man does it suck. People who I thought would never get married…. so you know, that’s fun. I have been actively trying not to compare my life to others though, so lets see how that goes.

Golden Rule: Don’t Compare Yourself to Others!

Tips for Dudes: Make your girl knows you’re official, just so she has some peace of mind.

No Take Backs

Hey Guys, just feel like ranting today. I have sadly figured out the hard way that there are “No Take Backs” in relationships. Whatever you say or do; it’s out there and it just sticks. I have ruined a lot of relationships because of my actions and a lot of relationships were ruined by things guys have said or done to me. Right now I feel like shit and the reason is a guy. Not sure if its my fault or his but I feel like shit. Relationships are hard, especially if they are one sided.

Sometimes I think what I’m looking for just doesn’t exist anymore. I’m just looking for that thing that people write about or sing about. That thing that some of our parents had. That thing where you wanted to share your life with someone. I guess I just haven’t been fortunate enough to find it.

Will I keep looking? Honestly not sure…. trying to find something that doesn’t exist, doesn’t really make sense.

Update on Tongue-ring: We are still not a couple which I was reminded of yesterday. We are still hanging and I’m just going with the flow at this point.

No golden rule this week. If you have any advice for me, I will take it because I am out of ideas LOL.

Also can you believe what Tristan Thompson did to Khloe?! I mean if she can get cheated on, why am I even trying. That guy’s crazy. When will guys learn? Do they ever regret anything?

Rant Over.

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Just Hanging Out

Hey Ladies, How was your East long weekend? Mine was fabulous as I went to Vegas!!! It was wonderful. I had a seriously good time and Vegas is beautiful. If you ever have a chance to go please do. I partied so much that I lost my voice on my way back from all the screaming. I also went to the Magic Mike Show and let me tell you, those boys are fiiinnneeee.

In other news, tongue ring and I are still hanging out. Its been a month now and he has made it pretty clear that we aren’t a couple or exclusive. Like I’ve asked and that’s what he said lol. So basically we are just hanging out. Man is dating hard, I don’t even know if we are dating. Its been pretty exclusive for me on my end but not really sure whats happening on his. I’ll see where this takes us, but I’m pretty confused. Guys usually try to lock me down if they like me.

Golden Rule: Go To Vegas!!!

Tips for Guys: Define a relationship before the girl you are seeing gets confused.

 

My Top 5 Date Ideas

Hi Ladies! These top 5 date ideas are literally just the top 5 dates that I have been on. Needless to say, this is prompted by a recent awesome date lol. So last night, tongue-ring took me to an impromptu hockey game. My first hockey game ever. Can I just say…. Its freaking cool. If you get a chance to go, please do. Even if you are not into Hockey, its just such a fun environment. Also if you have gone millions of times before and think that I am super late then…well…whatever to you too lol.

How goes it with tongue-ring you ask? Well it’s going good. According to him we aren’t a couple yet so I have to just simmer down. Still haven’t experienced the full extent of the tongue ring yet, which means I’m being a very good girl. I’ll let you know if anything crazy happens.

So lets get to the dates shall we? I have been really into lists lately, right?

  1. Drive In Movie Theater – OMG this was the funnest date ever. You are stuck in a car with a guy that you like while watching 2 kick ass movies. I highly recommend this date. Lots of talking, laughing and making out takes place.
  2. Hockey Game – Yaaaaas Queens, It was fun as hell. I wish I could have drank more but I had work the next day. It actually almost makes me wanna pay attention to sports.
  3. Casino Date – This was a super fun date because I don’t gamble ever and so it was just fun to let him teach me the ropes. Also they pump extra oxygen in there so you feel super alive, even if you are losing all your money.
  4. Snowfall Bar Date – So this one was only fun because all we did was drink. Then it snowed and it was beautiful outside. He then took me home to meet his dogs.  This was “dumped me two days before Christmas” dude. Not the nicest guy to me, but really special first date.
  5. Mexican Restaurant  – Have I ever mentioned how much I love food? Especially good Mexican food. I had only one date with this guy and wasn’t really feeling him. This date was awesome though because of the food. We literally only had nachos and sangria… but DANG was it good. If we had gotten enchiladas I probably would have married this guy. He missed out on not wanting to order more stuff lol.

I know these ideas aren’t ideal but if you have a chance to do any of them, please do!

I’m also heading to VEEEGGGAAASSS this weekend! I am so excited!!! Its going to be lit and who knows what stories I will come home with. Stay Tuned!

Golden Rule: Cherish all your dates, even when the guys turn out to be sucky. When you meet the right guy, you’ll know all the fun places to go.

Tips for Guys: Take your girl on fun dates, maybe places she hasn’t been before. She will definitely dig you a little more.

 

What are you looking for?

These are the 5 worst words to utter while online dating. As soon as you ask this question, the conversation either gets really weird or stops immediately. Man have I gotten some weird answers. I’ll have some great examples listed below.

I’ve also started dating someone y’all! I know me. We have been on like 4 dates and it’s going okay. It’s not anything spectacular and he is nothing like anyone I have ever dated. He has tats everywhere and a tongue piercing. Yup I said tongue piercing lol. I’ll let you know what thats all about in another post. I’m trying to feel him out to see if I actually like him. Let’s call him “Tongue Ring”.

Golden Rule: Date a guy with a tongue ring, things get interesting.

Tips For Guys: Date a girl with a tongue ring, everyone needs to have this experience.

Really Specific Things I Learned From Dating

  1. Never date someone with one profile picture. Like your other angles can’t be that bad.
  2. Never date a guy if J is the first letter of his name. Just don’t okay. Trust me.
  3. Never date a guy still in-love with his ex-girlfriend. Get all the details before going forward. Where she lives…is she close..is she prettier than you? (the basics lol)
  4. Never date a guy who constantly talks about other women being attractive right in front of you. Rude much!
  5. Never date a guy who has looked you in the eye and told you he will never commit. That one is self explanatory.
  6. Never date a guy whose name begins with a J, has two children and had his ex fiance cheat on him. They’re crazy.
  7. Never date a guy with a lower IQ than you. You really need to be able to have a conversation.
  8. Never date a guy who brings up sex after two hours of texting. Not Cool.
  9. Never date a guy who refers to a human woman as not a top priority. Does your boys or weed have sex with you? I think not!
  10. Never date a guy who refers to his car as “The Whip”. It’s just annoying.

Golden Rule: Read these rules and live by them. 

Tips for Dudes: The more horrible you are, the more we learn what we don’t want. But try not to be horrible. 

How Many Times Can Your Heart Be Broken?

Being single is rough and if you are in the right relationship be thankful. Just a quick update on me. Nothing really going on, barely dating… haven’t really found anyone worth it.  Works good, family is you know family. So life overall is good. I’m not ignorant to the fact that life could be worse but feeling super alone in whatever circumstance sucks. What does feeling alone make you do?

It makes you reach out to your past. It makes you start caring about people again. It makes you think, that maybe this person likes you. Hey, maybe he cares about your well being. In reality though, he doesn’t. Doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result is called insanity. I have blogged about moving forward a million times but what happens when something always pull you back.

What happens when you feel connected to someone who honestly doesn’t give a shit. Its hard to shake, but I have to shake it. How many times can one person break your heart? Umm maybe like 7, I counted. How can the opinion of one person make you feel so small and discouraged? Or the lack there of an opinion in this case.

I can’t wait to be in love and married to someone who values the person I am for what I am. When looking back at this, will just be a memory and not my reality.

No Golden Rule today and no advice. I need some advice on this one, even though I know what I have to do.

Feeling Shitty but looking to the future with a slither of hope. A really tiny slither but one none the less.

 

Can I Legally Marry A Pizza?

The answer is yes! I do have to do some research first to figure out if it’s legal in my city but that’s totally doable. I’ve literally seen like 5 articles about people marrying inanimate objects and now I know why. Man are guys weird. Or maybe I just keep meeting the absolute worst ones.

My secret guy that I wanted to unveil all dramatic like, isn’t worth unveiling. He’s so lame, he doesn’t even get a nickname. So I’m just out here in the desert of Singledom, sorting through the dregs of humanity and the heights of stupidity. Did that sound harsh? Well it’s at least 80% true. There are no good guys left! I’ve looked lol.

Being single sucks when you honestly consider marrying a Pizza.

Also what’s with guys now a days with the “I need space” or “I’m busy” excuse. Go settle down and find someone to love you lol. The future is like this ageless place for guys where they think girls will always want to bang them. Ummmm not true!

Ladies, please check out all the really sweet messages I get on my online dating profile. Really makes a girl want to cry and never date again lol. Please see below!

Golden Rule: Look into marrying inanimate objects, they will always be with you because they can’t move.

Tips For Guys: When a girl wants to bang you, let her! You won’t be bangable forever.

On To The Next One

Hello Ladies! I haven’t posted in a while and I apologize. I have been busy, but not in a relationship busy so don’t worry. Your girl is still single and V-day is still a problem.  It’s on Wednesday! Boooo! I am wondering if I can go through that entire day and just pretend that nothing’s happening? Yeah probably not.  I have too many friends that are loved up for that one. Instagram is probably going to be a barf fest but I digress.  I need to start loving love even though I am really bad at it and it doesn’t seem to love me back.

What have I been doing you might ask? Fighting with my insurance company, which takes a lot of energy I might add. We are debating Jasmine’s fate. (My Car) Other than that , I have been whining like a baby about being single and that no one likes me. That’s takes a lot of energy too. My friend at work whom I torture with my complaints (sorry girl) literally told me that I need to stop Back tracking. She said “Leave them all behind, and just say on to the next one.” And you know what she is right. When I backtrack nothing good ever comes of it, like ever.

This week I backtracked with Picky Eater a bit. I know! The horror, the shame! It doesn’t matter because nothing came of it. I literally wanted to be with him again and he literally said no, no progress was made at all. He is now in the dust.  (Another one bites the dust)

I am officially on to the next guy. No more wasting time. My biological clock is ticking! Is there a next guy you may ask? The answer is yes. I am not ready to unveil him to the world yet. I am keeping him hidden away like he’s the next iphone. The one that can finally cook you dinner and comes with a live robot of Siri. Yeah that definitely sounds like an episode of Black Mirror.

Being Single is hard when your biological clock is ticking so loud you can’t hear yourself think.

In the meantime please take a look at some of the really nice messages I have been getting on POF. There are some real charmers out there.

Golden Rule: Don’t look back, just move forward.

Tips For Guys: Leave your ex-girlfriends alone. Let them get over you.

bobbyCurvy or Busty