2020…. The Worst?

Hi Guys,

Are you over this year? Yeah me too. Things are getting crazier by the minute. Everything has been in complete upheaval starting with society, the economy, medical issues and environmental issues. The entire globe is on fire and not just for social change. Have humans on a whole just been tweeting and gramming ourselves into a black hole? Perhaps.

I myself as a Canadian woman of color have experienced injustices but I can only speak to the ones that I am aware of and of course I am lobbying for social change. Social change for black people and all other people of color who have been taught by society that they are some how less than or not good enough. I rarely get political on my blog but I will make my allegiances clear. Treating everyone no matter their color as equals is like 400 years over due.

That being said, this year has taught me a lot about myself and those I want to surround myself with. I saw this quote that said you have to decide when its okay to let go of people but also; to let go of the part of yourself that allowed those people to treat you badly. No one can treat you badly or make you feel less than, unless you allow them to. I am not doing that anymore. There are a lot of relationships in my life that needed some evaluation and I am proud to say they have been evaluated. People need to add positivity and value to your life just as you should to theirs.

I know this blog had been really heavy but this year has forced me to reflect on some pretty heavy things. As for Brad and I we are good. This year has put a monkey wrench in our plans and the rest of the world’s plans. So we are basically dealing with this massive delay in starting our lives together. However I must also see this as a well needed moment of rest and reflection. Everything happens for a reason. If we were meant to buy a house in 2020 we would have but maybe God has other plans.

Golden Rule: Stay positive and protect your energy.

She’s So Quiet

So this one isn’t about being single necessarily but I guess its kind of connected. I just gotta rant for a second. So I guess some might describe me as an introvert because I’m not the loudest person in the room. I like people and can make friends pretty easy but if i’m in a room with people who enjoy attention, I let them have it. In my mind I feel like if attention is what you need to feel relevant, then go for it. What I do hate though is when they label me as quiet when I never have a chance to speak. I literally can’t get a word in and then they are like “oh she is just so quiet”. I have literally been labelled as the quiet or soft spoken person my entire life and each time it shocks me a bit. I literally think ” I am?” I thought I was speaking at a relevant interval.

Its just like these days there is this culture of everyone speaking up  and speaking over everyone else. I mean like fully interrupting and shit just to seem smart or to show that you are working harder or something. Like I don’t interrupt people because its hella rude. In a work setting or social setting I speak at a decent amount but danggg. Then it seems like you aren’t smart enough or working as hard because you literally never get a chance to speak.

Same in my relationships. I hate confrontation and find it super hard to willingly butt heads with my partner. I tell them when I am not happy and not cool with stuff but in no way am I going to do it public or even do it in a confrontational or condescending tone. And that’s just because its not how I would want to be treated.

It just sucks that you get under estimated when you aren’t loud and obnoxious. That’s cool though because you know your own potential and don’t need confirmation from anyone. You know all the work you put in, real work not fake work. You know what you are doing is legit and will pay off. I don’t work for people or to impress people. I work for myself, to make my own money and to improve myself.

I have great big dreams and me the “soft spoken and quiet” one intends to achieve every single one of them.

Golden Rule: You don’t have put anyone down to feel better about yourself. Have a conversation with people don’t speak over them.

Tips for dudes: Respect a girl who talks to you with respect and reciprocate that.