Just Once

Hello Ladies,

I know it’s been quite a while since I wrote anything. And it’s not for lack of free time, it’s just that basically nothing is happening to me that is worth writing about. At least I thought there wasn’t. I do feel the need to update you guys though as it’s been a rough week.

So has anyone dated a Capricorn before because I can’t figure him out. Yes, I’m still with Brad and man has this pandemic been hitting us hard. We don’t live together yet and our parents are always home due to the restrictions. So we basically have no private time together and it’s slowly killing me. Brad, not so much. He is a man of many interests and sometimes I question how high I am on that list.

I have been feeling shitty lately about how I perceive I’m being treated in this relationship. I also would like to say that this whole past week, I was on my period which makes everything feel extra intense. But some of the issues that came up this week were things discussed before. So I’m not going to just blame it all on Mother Nature.

During this pandemic, I haven’t really seen my friends much because they live a little ways away. I have been trying to keep my bubble very small and that includes Brad. He’s been kind of like my only friend throughout this whole thing but maybe that’s a mistake. I can’t do that because he loves to be busy with his hobbies and to be un-disturbed. Also according to him, binge watching shows isn’t a hobby, so basically I have gotta go find one.

While we are going through our tough times, I have started to reflect on past relationships. And if you have been following me from the beginning, you know how those turned out. I have just been thinking about how I have been treated by guys over the past like 5 years which is when I seriously started dating. If you have been a fan you know it wasn’t good. And we watch TV and see couples that are so in love or you know newly weds and things like that, you can’t help but to compare your relationship to theirs.

Just once, I’d like to be the girl that someone can’t live without. Just once I’d like to be someone’s go to person. Over the past few weeks, I have been wondering if those feelings even still happen? This is my 30th year of life. Not only am I dealing with a personal crisis, I am also dealing with a world wide crisis. Why did I have to be born in 1990?! Like we have witnessed a lot. Like a lot a lot.

Anyway, my friends from New York, my sisters heck even my friends here in Canada keeps asking me; when will I be engaged. And that question is crazy to me because it’s basically asking someone, when do they think their significant other will propose. The answer is I don’t know. But I have been thinking, maybe to this person I’m not like the girl he engages. Maybe there is no fear of losing me, no like urgency. Just once, can I be the girl guys feel urgent about? I guess that’s just wishful thinking.

So that’s the update. Things are rough. I am determined to change and not depend on anyone else. I honestly have to figure out how to love being alone. I am away from my friends and my boyfriend is occupied. I need to be content in my own little Corona bubble.

So in other words, I think I’m depressed. Just kidding……. but maybe not?

Let me know how things are going for your relationships.

The Relevance Of Routine

Hi Guys,

In my last blog I referenced an episode of “Coronavirus, Explained” on Netflix. If you have watched it then great! If not please refer to my last blog “Coping Mechanism” and then watch it, in that order (hehehe). For those of us who have watched it and is now using all the coping mechanism, I commend you.

Just yesterday I was reading all my earlier blogs and I have realized how my blog has evolved over the years. It was at first about dating and the difficulties of associating with douche bags for lack of a better term. Now I am happily in a stable relationship with someone whom I actually see a future with. Yet, this pandemic, our feelings of isolation and global circumstances around it has taken over. I do apologize for all this content and do wish there was way more Juicier content to share. The most exciting thing Brad and I have been doing is a Marvel Movie Marathon, but by all means please let me know if you would like me to brief you on those. We are also going to the cottage again soon, so that’s always amazing.

I have stability in my love life which is great with everything else being upside down. Literally everyday now I try to have a routine for myself. I look for jobs for about 2 hours, which is honestly the most stressful part of my day. I try to incorporate a walk so I can get my steps in and then I try to give my day some kind of purpose.

This week I had a Handmaid’s Tale Day which was super intense but rewarding at the end. I am not going to lie, Handmaid’s tale makes me feel all kinds of feelings. I actually cried watching the season 3 finale. No spoilers but WOW. That’s all I will say.

I am going to try to give myself a purpose each day. Also lets keep in mind that I have been in quarantine since March and I am just now actually upholding to some kind of routine. So don’t feel bad if you haven’t found your groove yet Stella! (That’s a movie reference, let me know if you get it)

Anyway, just letting you know this has been helping me. I also love to sing and I love to write. So I am actively trying to write more blogs. So here you are apart of my routine!

Golden Rule: Find the routine that works for you and make it fun!

The Handmaid's Tale': TV's Most Chilling Trump-Era Series ...

Coping Mechanisms

Hi Guys,

So I watched a super interesting episode of explained yesterday on Netflix and I definitely wanted to share this with you. Some people I know watch the show Explained on Netflix and many people I know don’t. To those people I say why?! Do you not want to know the whats what on racism, the stock market, sex, and a plethora of other subjects. It is literally 30 minutes of pure information and pure fire. Should I be on the Netflix marketing team?

Anyway, the episode in question is about coping through all the stressors that this pandemic has caused. So this particular explained series is called “Coronavirus, Explained” and all the episodes are based on one aspect of how this Pandemic has changed our lives. I think everyone and I mean everyone should watch it. It just allows you to understand on a greater platform, what is actually taking place and how everyone on the planet is facing the same exact circumstances.

I won’t share any spoilers but I do want to touch on a few things. Over the past few months, I have been laid off and have had to struggle with major uncertainty in my life. With that being said; I have had trouble sleeping, I watch the news or is attached to some social media outlet constantly, I have anxiety and I have an overall feeling of isolation. Does any of this sound familiar? I mean most people all over the world is struggling with all the same things but knowing everyone is going through it as well, doesn’t really help me cope. What helps me cope is knowing what helps them cope, which is exactly what this episode explored.

I won’t tell you what those coping mechanisms are because I want you to watch the episode. What a tease I am right? What I will tell you is that it’s narrated by Idris Elba and like who doesn’t want to hear him talk for 30 minutes? You’re Welcome.

Golden Rule: Just take a few deep breaths and everything will eventually shift into its rightful place.