Monthly Archives: February 2018

Can I Legally Marry A Pizza?

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The answer is yes! I do have to do some research first to figure out if it’s legal in my city but that’s totally doable. I’ve literally seen like 5 articles about people marrying inanimate objects and now I know why. Man are guys weird. Or maybe I just keep meeting the absolute worst ones.

My secret guy that I wanted to unveil all dramatic like, isn’t worth unveiling. He’s so lame, he doesn’t even get a nickname. So I’m just out here in the desert of Singledom, sorting through the dregs of humanity and the heights of stupidity. Did that sound harsh? Well it’s at least 80% true. There are no good guys left! I’ve looked lol.

Being single sucks when you honestly consider marrying a Pizza.

Also what’s with guys now a days with the “I need space” or “I’m busy” excuse. Go settle down and find someone to love you lol. The future is like this ageless place for guys where they think girls will always want to bang them. Ummmm not true!

Ladies, please check out all the really sweet messages I get on my online dating profile. Really makes a girl want to cry and never date again lol. Please see below!

Golden Rule: Look into marrying inanimate objects, they will always be with you because they can’t move.

Tips For Guys: When a girl wants to bang you, let her! You won’t be bangable forever.

On To The Next One

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Hello Ladies! I haven’t posted in a while and I apologize. I have been busy, but not in a relationship busy so don’t worry. Your girl is still single and V-day is still a problem.  It’s on Wednesday! Boooo! I am wondering if I can go through that entire day and just pretend that nothing’s happening? Yeah probably not.  I have too many friends that are loved up for that one. Instagram is probably going to be a barf fest but I digress.  I need to start loving love even though I am really bad at it and it doesn’t seem to love me back.

What have I been doing you might ask? Fighting with my insurance company, which takes a lot of energy I might add. We are debating Jasmine’s fate. (My Car) Other than that , I have been whining like a baby about being single and that no one likes me. That’s takes a lot of energy too. My friend at work whom I torture with my complaints (sorry girl) literally told me that I need to stop Back tracking. She said “Leave them all behind, and just say on to the next one.” And you know what she is right. When I backtrack nothing good ever comes of it, like ever.

This week I backtracked with Picky Eater a bit. I know! The horror, the shame! It doesn’t matter because nothing came of it. I literally wanted to be with him again and he literally said no, no progress was made at all. He is now in the dust.  (Another one bites the dust)

I am officially on to the next guy. No more wasting time. My biological clock is ticking! Is there a next guy you may ask? The answer is yes. I am not ready to unveil him to the world yet. I am keeping him hidden away like he’s the next iphone. The one that can finally cook you dinner and comes with a live robot of Siri. Yeah that definitely sounds like an episode of Black Mirror.

Being Single is hard when your biological clock is ticking so loud you can’t hear yourself think.

In the meantime please take a look at some of the really nice messages I have been getting on POF. There are some real charmers out there.

Golden Rule: Don’t look back, just move forward.

Tips For Guys: Leave your ex-girlfriends alone. Let them get over you.

bobbyCurvy or Busty