We Are Not Perfect

Hi Ladies,

I just wanted to let you guys know that no relationship is perfect. Brad and I have been having this on-going issue, involving another girl outside of our relationship. Now when I met Brad he came encompassed with all these young, female (some single, some not) friends. Like most girls who start a new relationship I was not comfortable.

Brad has made profound improvements in this regard. He really tries to stay clear of anything that makes me uncomfortable or any interactions that he knows will make me feel not great. However, lol. One still remains.

There is a particular friend whom we have had controversies with concerning some interactions. Stuff that any girl would feel weird about or not appreciate. The problem is that with this particular human, Brad doesn’t really agree that some things were inappropriate.

When he is with this particular individual something else happens. His phone is a deadzone lol. So say I’m chatting away, just telling him usual stuff, expecting a response. Maybe not right away but like within a reasonable time. I’ll either get no response or like weird half answers. So Ofcourse I didn’t feel great about that. And I would notice it most with this particular girl. Like I would just feel the distance.

I have discussed this with Brad and since then have seen major improvements. He has had to actively try to stay attentive when this person is around. Which makes me feel eeeeeeeek. He says it’s because they don’t get to see each other that much so when they do, they have lots to say. I also basically just need to accept this as I do get quite upset every time it happens. Shouldn’t I be use to this by now?

In the most recent incident she asked Brad something that had somewhat to do with me. And like it just feels like my feelings were not considered you know. It just felt like this thing was only about her. And it sucked. After the fact Brad and I discussed but there is like no going back on this thing. Also I would think if it was between me being upset and her being upset. Mine would be more crucial or important but I felt like that wasn’t the case.

This is the one thing that hasn’t really changed much in almost two years. There is no shaking her. And I feel terrible for being that girlfriend that steps in the way of friendships. My fear is that there may be something more than friendship happening there but Brad vehemently disagrees. I feel like freakin Darth Vader every time I bring it up.

Because Ofcourse she’s like a happy little fairy girl. Who doesn’t like that right? While I’m an overthinking, intellectual adult who still allows a fairy girl to make me feel like shit.

Naturally in these scenarios where someone else has your boyfriends attention, you start to over analyze and compare. And comparison is never good. I compact every interaction they have ever had into a little box. And every time she’s brought up, I open this little box and all the uncomfortable feelings seep out. Kinda like in that movie the ring where like that dead girls hair just like comes out of no where and stifles you. Super similar to that.

Brad Ofcourse hates that I do this. Because he literally doesn’t remember anything that has happened with this person past last Tuesday. Is that like a guy thing?

So anyway, this is my dilemma. This problem is not going anywhere as he has to see this person on a semi-regular basis. Some aspects of this situation does make me feel insecure. The usual questions. Am I not interesting enough? Not pretty enough? Not fairy like enough?

Because intrinsically that’s what happens. I don’t feel like enough. I should be so enough that no other human can do this. As no other human does this to me in regards to Brad. But that’s just it. Brad and I are different and see things differently.

So then I’ll think like maybe I’m just being too sensitive or maybe a bit over critical. But then I bring up specific scenarios with my friends and even my MOM. And my mom would say, “hmmmmm something doesn’t seem right with this girl.”

So that’s the dilemma. I have no advice this week but I sure need some.

Things That Girls Do….

Hi Ladies,

So this weekend was quite interesting.

Friday;

Absolutely wonderful. Work sucked but then after I got to see Brad and we ordered pizza and we had amazing, passionate sex. I felt so close to him, physically and emotionally. I love when we connect like that, it literally re-affirms that he is this amazing human and I am so happy he’s all mine.

Saturday;

On this particular Saturday Brad had to work until 4 PM, when he normally works  until like 1 PM. I was pretty bummed on his behalf because I would hate to have to work my whole Saturday away. So when he’s at work, he gets busy and of course being busy = not much attention. Me being an attention hoarder has had to get use to that overtime. I am fairly aware that I require more attention than most. I’m working on that lol.

So at times when he’s at work and not paying attention to me or at least less than the usual amount. Or even texting me back but not like anything engaging, it usually has to do with his company at work. Brad works in a female dominated field and much of his co-workers are women. I am sure I have mentioned this before lol. Since I have been in a relationship for a year; I would like to think that I have matured, have become less jealous and is just generally all around a bigger person. I will try to describe this situation with some sophistication.

I have noticed over the year, that when Brad is working with one particular co-worker is simultaneously when his attention is less engaging. We have had chats about this co-worker and she seems to be a subject of contention in our relationship. Brad has known this girl for a long time and when they get together they have tons to catch up on and talk about. They have a lot in common and rarely get to work together. They share relationship problems and give each other advice and things of that nature. In this scenario, is it fair for me to be jealous or dismayed that when he works with her he is simply having more fun that other nights and that leads to me not getting the standard attention that I’m use to?

Needless to say, we got in a fight about this. The fight was mainly because I didn’t know he was working with her but I did notice him being disengaged. Then when I found out that coincidentally he was working with this lassie, I became enraged. Am I insecure? Maybe… she’s been in his  life a long time, they have a lot in common and she’s blonde.

So we got into a fight right before we had to go to a backyard movie night planned by one of my friends. We tried to resolve it before we went and we did come to a solution. The solution is that I need to be more understanding that on these particular instances I will most likely get less attention, and that Brad will actively make an effort to give me the same level of attention.

We went to the party, had a good time and left.

Sunday;

Woke up together, I was still having fight flashbacks. So, do all girls do that thing where they re play every bit of a fight in their head, even though the argument is over and it should have been resolved?  I literally replayed everything that was said a million times and started feeling crappy about it all over again. I then started feeling insecure, wondering why this particular person is able to engulf so much of Brad’s attention. In the end I just needed a girls day. I hung out with one of my friends and I just felt better after stepping away from the situation.

I’m in love with Brad and as of right now, he’s not only my boyfriend, he’s pretty much one of my best friends. I tell him everything. I depend on him for guidance, company and affection. But is that too much? I’ve  decided to just reign it in for a while. I am working on my attention issue. I hate being jealous or feeling like I’m sharing him at any point but I have to be rational. I have to understand that he really likes this girl as a friend and that their interaction is not inappropriate in any way.

I have to be mature about this.

P.S. When this girl confesses her undying love for him for always being such a good friend, I will definitely let you guys know.

Golden Rule: If your significant other is giving you less attention at times, try to understand it.

Tips For Guys: Give your girl attention. Trust me, it will make her a happy clam.

 

Summer Summer Summer Time.

Hi Ladies!

I know I haven’t been writing much lately and that’s not good! Life is definitely getting in the way of my juicy relationship stories.

What’s been going on with Brad and I, you ask? He has been getting to know the family. He has been to several family events and he is now very familiar with members of my clan. They like him too but is he getting overwhelmed? Yes. Can he remember everyone’s names? Nope, but that’s natural. To be honest he’s only met less than a quarter of my family. I’m easing him in slowly. (That’s what she said)

We officially had a talk with my mom about buying a house together. She was pretty chill about the talk but I can tell she is melting inside like butter in a microwave. She is scared for her baby girl to leave her, live with a man and for me to be on my own. She’s also scared to be on her own. Who can blame her? These are all completely rational fears.

I’ll keep you posted on how and when buying a house with Brad goes. Who knew we would get here? Time sure flies when you are dating a committed, loving man. Remember in my earlier blogs when I thought this wouldn’t happen? Yeah me too. He’s not perfect but I love his imperfections. I’ll talk about those in another post. Lol.

Ladies, there is Hope yet.

Being single is still hard I’m sure, but I’m not single anymore. I don’t wanna jinx it though.

Golden Rule: If you want to buy a house with your lover, try to not already buy one with your parent.

Tips for guys: Commitment is everything. Girls love a guy who can commit.

Being 29 Sucks

Hi Ladies,

So I’m 29 years old and I graduated from school with my BA in HR and have about 5 years experience now. I’m working in a position currently where I am learning a lot but is completely un-enjoyable. I don’t feel accomplished or fulfilled when I get home, I just feel stressed out. I am now realizing that I am going to need my certification to get in a higher paying position. Or just a normal paying position, at least that’s how its looking these days.

But honestly, are we allowed to question what we want at this age? What makes me happy? Writing and singing. When I am doing those two things, I feel like I am doing what I was meant to do. They don’t feel like a chore or like something I would ever get tired of. But as we all know, those things don’t pay the bills according to our parents. Those things are just a complete waste of time.

I am just honestly trying to figure out if anyone is like happy with their job. Is being happy at your job too much to ask for these days? I know people who have great jobs and I’m literally just aspiring to get there. Only if being a writer was thing…….oh wait it is!

No golden rule or tips, just needed to vent.

Send Me Some Good Vibes

Hello Ladies! Its been almost a month since I have posted and that’s just because my life is literally a roller coaster. I had another car accident, YES another one. How annoying right? I am trying to figure out why these things happen to me. I am just trying to stay positive and look to the future.

My sister sent me this quote today. “Adulting is like looking two ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane”. I literally never see half the things that are coming before they happen. Regardless, I’m hanging in there and is going car shopping this weekend. Do I have money for a new car? The answer is no……. but do I need a car? Unfortunately, yes.

So here I go, moving into the future with the hope that things will work out. Is being single hard? Or is being alive hard? I would say both.

Brad and I are still going strong. He calls me a goofball and we laugh so much. He is exactly what I need in my turbulent life. His  life is like a calm peaceful river while mine is a little boat in a ginormous storm. Lets hope the little boat was like built by Elon Musk!

All in all….. life is rough sometimes. I have got to keep my head up and keep moving.

Send me all the positive vibes you got, I could sure use it.

Love Plant

Hi Ladies!

So Valentine’s Day just passed and I actually had a valentine for once! We went for dinner and exchanged gifts. And there were candles involved. All very romantic and certainly made me feel loved.

I was gifted a love plant. A plant that I’m tasked with keeping alive as it’s a representation of our love. No pressure or anything. I’ll have to do my very best, it might be hard as I don’t have a green thumb or a green anything.

I had a wonderful night with my babe but sometimes I wonder…. how do we measure love? Remember that song by Michael Bolton? “When a man loves a woman” Que wind machine. Like I grew up thinking love was exactly like Michael Bolton said. When a man loves you, he’ll do anything for you. He’ll respect you, he’ll try to never hurt you. When a woman loves a man it’s exactly the same. She respects him and tries to never hurt him.

I hope love never changes. I want to feel like Michael Bolton is following me and Brad around everywhere we go. I want that old school love. I want love that is true and committed.

No golden rules tonight or tips. Just love each other. Let’s not let love change or mutate. Let’s keep it simple.

29 & Feeling Fine?

Hi Ladies,

Alrighty, so I’m turning 29 in like two days! I know, its scary times. My twenties are pretty much over. That could mean two things; I won’t be broke anymore and suddenly start to enjoy the thirty, flirty and thriving vibe  or I’ll start to have a third – life crisis. Stay tuned to find out which one happens! Hopefully the first one.

I’m having a super rocky start to 2019, I literally feel like a chicken with my head cut off. It’s super weird for a person that thrives on stability but honestly I will get back there soon. I’m just gonna watch 13 going on 30 like all year. If Jenna can make it, so can I!

So hows  Brad doing? He’s great! Have I ever mentioned his hobby before? So Brad is into video games, and board games and all games. He currently just got into Dungeons & Dragons. And yeah needless to say, its Me vs. D&D. D&D is winning lol. Maybe I could learn to play and we both win?

I have probably mentioned love languages before on this blog because I like really believe in them. Like everyone has different ways of loving people and different ways of interpreting love. So my love language is quality time and physical touch. Brad’s love language is ………. umm I have yet to figure it out. I even had him do a survey and the outcome was wrong. I think it might be words of affirmation and or acts of service but I’m not sure.

If you don’t know what the love languages are, they are 5 ways that people love according to Gary Chapman. There is even a book about them. Gary Chapman should sponsor me lol

  1. Quality Time
  2. Words of Affirmation
  3. Acts of Service
  4. Physical Touch
  5. Receiving Gifts

So I guess we just like need to figure out how we love each other and how our languages intertwine. Other than trying to figure out his love language everything is good. We’ve hit the sex sweet spot. We pretty much know exactly what we like and are not afraid to explore further.  The thing I love about him the most is that he’s a great communicator and whenever there is something bothering me or him, we always talk it out.

Golden Rule: Learn your love languages and then make sure they mesh well with your boyfriend’s.

Tips for Dudes: Maybe try to figure out what your own love language is, so your GF doesn’t have to. lol

I’m Ready For You 2019

Hi Ladies! It has been another great year sharing my relationships stories and adventures with you. Thanks so much for reading!

I have written many a self – reflecting, self – realization type blogs in the past and here is the first one for 2019.

I am about to be 29 years old and am just realizing now that I really need to change the way I think and think about my happiness. I feel like a lot of us girls put a lot of stock into relationships and that sways the way we feel about ourselves. I’m also guilty of this, but we need to know what makes US happy.

This year lets all find our happy place. Lets take some time to know ourselves and find our own joy. Our independent Joy.

I am very happy in my relationship with Brad. We are learning and growing as a couple. Getting to my own happiness and joy will only improve our relationship.

Golden Rule: Make this year about you and your happiness.

Tips For Guys: Find your happy place too, although i’m pretty sure most guys already know where this is!

 

Crystals Are A Girl’s Best Friend!

Merry Christmas Ladies! I hope you had a wonderful holiday season. I am very blessed to have had a great holiday season even though everything isn’t perfect in my working life at the moment. I am thankful for my friends, family and my boyfriend. Speaking of Brad, I just wanted to talk about one of my Christmas gifts.

So he did get me many things but of all the things, I am most grateful for my Swarovski Earrings. They are little silver hoops with Swarovski crystals. They are super beautiful! Now I may be biased because they are from my favorite guy but yeah, they are stunning. I mean lets just start with the fact that I have never gotten jewelry from a man before! Sad? Yeah I know. To all the ladies out there who have gotten countless pieces of jewelry from men, be thankful. It’s honestly very rare for me lol.

Needless to say, I love them and will wear them forever! I was considering wearing them everyday, but then I thought nah, my other earrings would get jealous and we certainly don’t want that!

I just wanted to say, lets make 2019 awesome. For me 2018 was a mixed bag. Lots of bad things happened along with good things. I want 2019 and every year going forward to be filled with decisions and ideas all geared toward making me successful. I wish you all the same!

Also, thanks for reading for the whole year ladies!

Golden Rule: Getting your first piece of jewelry  from your BF is major, so cherish that moment.

Tips For Guys: Get her jewelry whenever you can! She can never have enough lol.

Six Months In Our Love Bubble

Hi Ladies! I’ve been Brad’s girl for six whole months. That’s long for me lol. I’m pretty excited about it and I’m quite happy in my relationship which is no small matter. We celebrated by going out for dinner and me being the romantic I am, stole an idea from pinterest. So I know he likes Toblerone Chocolates (because I had some in my room and he ate half the box lol), so I put a bunch in a mason jar with a sweet note and a bow on top. OMG guys, it was so cute! I’m super impressed with myself. (pats self on back) I know he liked it or at least he certainly liked the Toblerones.

I’m happy to say I’ve grown in this relationship into a more secure me. I am happy that nothing has changed since the beginning of the relationship other than the fact that we are slowly morphing into the same person. We definitely have a deeper connection now but its still as fun as the beginning. Are we still in the honeymoon phase? Maybe?!

I also just wanted to add how incredible our sex has been. I think the longer we are together the more we know each other’s desires. We definitely know what we both like and maximize on those things. All I can say is “WOW!”. I find him sexier than ever now and is still pretty enamored with him.

Alright I’ll stop gushing! I just wanted to let ya’ll know we are six months deep lol.

P.S. Super excited for Christmas!

Golden Rule: When you are in love, time flies fast! Enjoy every moment of it.

Tips for Guys: Be the guy that a girl can fall in love with. It’s worth it!