So I am online dating as I usually do… on the hunt for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now if the mood strikes me, only to come upon the most ridiculous username that I have ever seen. So this guy messages me “hello gorgeous hru?”, and without thinking I reply “hey”. His picture looked okay enough to warrant a response, however when I took a look at his username, I was immediately rebuffed. I won’t plague you with suspense anymore, his username was DeezzzNuts. I kid you not (see picture below for proof). Please tell me what’s going through a guy’s head when he makes his username DeezzzNuts! Is it supposed to be humorous? Am I supposed to swoon at the mention of his scrotum? To be honest, I was actually going to talk to the guy for a bit but he basically self-sabotaged himself. Also if a guy can’t make a coherent decision on what his username is going to be… what else can I assume about you? His real name is probably something shame worthy to go with DeezzzNuts! He is probably so obsessed with his nuts, that when the time came to make a username, they were the first thing that popped into his head! Ladies, should I date this guy anyway, just to do some recon on his nuts? I mean if he is bold enough to mention it  right out of the gate, it’s probably worth mentioning. Are they golden? Do they smell like cinnamon? Will they be the smoothest, wrinkleless ball sacks I have ever encountered?  Should I take one for the team just to behold them? I am actually talking myself into dating a guy whose username is Deezzznuts, SMH.

If a guy can’t pick a decent username, what else can’t he do?

Golden Rule: Don’t date a guy whose username is DeezzzNuts. (shouldn’t have to tell you this one)

Tips for Guys: Pick creative yet non-offensive usernames. I promise that ladies will respond a bit more to you. Heck I would of responded positively if it was DeeezzzDiplomas or DeezzzDeposits.