Quarantine

Hi Ladies,

I won’t be one of those people who complain about being bored in quarantine even though I am. As I understand that it’s saving all our lives by doing so.

As we discussed in my previous post, I am not quarantining with Brad for various safety precautions. Earlier today it was announced that this could go on for 12 more weeks.

Now ladies if you are shacked up with your significant other right now, you have won. You are winning. I am horny, crazy, bored and at this point just sad. I am trying not to think of three of the longest months of the year rolling by while I’m stuck staring at my ceiling. At this point, I won’t be seeing Brad until the middle of summer.

I honestly am feeling a plethora of emotions right now. Was I a thief in another life? Should we have moved in together sooner? And I get it, besides my relationship there is a whole pandemic happening. With so much chaos and uncertainty, this is when we need our loved ones most and I don’t have Brad.

We talk on the phone and we play games together but for me, nothing can replace physical time together. He is currently still going to work and I’m not. So at this point he’s seeing everyone in his life except me. I understand all the risks of seeing each other but I’m not going to lie this sucks in a major way.

Imagine; Dating, Falling in love, getting attached, looking to live together and then boom 3-4 months apart. That’s pretty natural right?

I have told him that my biggest fear is that some aspects of our relationship will change after spending so much time apart. I feel myself retreating and getting even more closed off. It’s my defense mechanism. I can’t cry all day so I have to distance myself from the situation.

I honestly don’t know what the future holds for any of us. I am sending good vibes out to anyone stuck in the house away from their significant other. At this point our 2 year anniversary will be spent away from each other.

This is a crazy time and I have no advice for anyone except stay safe and try to retain your sanity.

Stress Eating

Hi Ladies!

What happens when work is stressing you out, you only see your man 2 times a week, 3 if you’re lucky and your friends live some distance away?

You start stress eating. This week alone, I have eaten sooo much crap. At work I just like drinking diet pop to keep me going. That’s not good for me. I always feel super bloated after.

Then I don’t see my boyfriend, so I just go home and eat alone. Then go to bed.

Bottom line is, I hate being fat. Then I look in the mirror and I’m like WTF?! And then that stresses me out. Who’s a brides maid in two weddings this year? Yup, I am! It’s just the perfect year to be chubby, stressed and annoyed.

By the way, this is me being positive lol. Today was a good day until I saw how chubby I was and how alone I felt.

Brad works nights every other week but sometimes it’s like two weeks in a row. It’s pretty sad because I literally am doing everything by myself in the week. That would be okay if my friends were around but they are all like a 45 minute drive. I mean….. should I make new friends?

IDK, I just wanted to vent a little.

Yours Truly,

Chubby Chubby Bunny.

Thirty, Flirty and Tired

Hello Ladies!

My day job is taking over my life but here lies my true passion. I have recently turned the big 3 0! It’s shocking. I literally thought I would be in my 20’s forever or forever 21.

Now that I have entered a new chapter, I am looking forward to all adulthood is ready to teach me. Probably weird health things, or I assume my organs will need to be checked or something. I suddenly start to fee real sluggish around 9 PM, is that an old people thing?

Brad and I hosted a giant party for my birthday at his house. It was delightful. My hunny got me the most perfect cake and the cutest gifts. My friends were all around me. It was pretty much a kickass birthday. The only thing is, now I’ve gotta top it!

Brad and I are in a really good place despite all the past drama. For the most part there hasn’t been any other woman running interference. I’m looking ahead into our future which I think is Uber bright.

Well that’s it folks! I made it to 30 and only cried a handful of times so that’s an accomplishment!

I’ll keep y’all posted on what’s coming next!

What A Year 2020 Will Be

Ladies! Sound the alarm, my blog has been infiltrated. Hide your wives, hide your children, JK. No but seriously I think our past lovers have come back to haunt us or furious attempted lovers. Where do I start? With the juicy information? Nope!

Happy New Year you filthy animals! It’s 2020, we are getting dangerously close to cyborgs and hover boards. Over the holidays Brad and I took a massive road trip to Maine to visit my sister. We had a lovely picturesque snowy Christmas there. Then we drove through upstate NY on our way back. This trip really brought us closer together and pointed out some key information to me about our relationship. The most important one is that we can drive in a car together for 6 hours with only one break without wanting to kill each other. Okay there was maybe one argument but scouts honor that was it.

My sister sure approved of him with her closing statement being “He’s Tall.” She made him reach all the high cupboards and take down things she hadn’t seen for years. Well you get it, Christmas was mint.

On to New Years. We went to one of Brad’s family friends house for a party. It was a lot of games, food, drinks and really loud people. Brad and I had our midnight smooch but sadly didn’t get to seal the deal that night. (Wink)

Am I being way more raunchy? Idk, new year, new……. writing style?

As for the drama, I won’t give anyone the satisfaction of going into detail but basically I think someone out there would like for Brad and I to part ways. To what end, I have no clue.

My last blog was a bit emotionally raw and true. I want you all to know that relationships, even really good ones such as mine, have their low points. Brad and I did have an epic fight surrounding the subject of my last blog. (If you wanna know so bad, go read it!)

We have since mended and put the past behind us because we know who we are and what we have. We know we are building a future and we also know that we aren’t perfect! I love my hunny and plan to stick with him through the ups and downs. I won’t pull a Hillary but he knows way better than to pull a Bill.

No golden rule on this one. I’m just sending all my readers good vibes and wishing you all the very best for your new year!

Things That Girls Do….

Hi Ladies,

So this weekend was quite interesting.

Friday;

Absolutely wonderful. Work sucked but then after I got to see Brad and we ordered pizza and we had amazing, passionate sex. I felt so close to him, physically and emotionally. I love when we connect like that, it literally re-affirms that he is this amazing human and I am so happy he’s all mine.

Saturday;

On this particular Saturday Brad had to work until 4 PM, when he normally works  until like 1 PM. I was pretty bummed on his behalf because I would hate to have to work my whole Saturday away. So when he’s at work, he gets busy and of course being busy = not much attention. Me being an attention hoarder has had to get use to that overtime. I am fairly aware that I require more attention than most. I’m working on that lol.

So at times when he’s at work and not paying attention to me or at least less than the usual amount. Or even texting me back but not like anything engaging, it usually has to do with his company at work. Brad works in a female dominated field and much of his co-workers are women. I am sure I have mentioned this before lol. Since I have been in a relationship for a year; I would like to think that I have matured, have become less jealous and is just generally all around a bigger person. I will try to describe this situation with some sophistication.

I have noticed over the year, that when Brad is working with one particular co-worker is simultaneously when his attention is less engaging. We have had chats about this co-worker and she seems to be a subject of contention in our relationship. Brad has known this girl for a long time and when they get together they have tons to catch up on and talk about. They have a lot in common and rarely get to work together. They share relationship problems and give each other advice and things of that nature. In this scenario, is it fair for me to be jealous or dismayed that when he works with her he is simply having more fun that other nights and that leads to me not getting the standard attention that I’m use to?

Needless to say, we got in a fight about this. The fight was mainly because I didn’t know he was working with her but I did notice him being disengaged. Then when I found out that coincidentally he was working with this lassie, I became enraged. Am I insecure? Maybe… she’s been in his  life a long time, they have a lot in common and she’s blonde.

So we got into a fight right before we had to go to a backyard movie night planned by one of my friends. We tried to resolve it before we went and we did come to a solution. The solution is that I need to be more understanding that on these particular instances I will most likely get less attention, and that Brad will actively make an effort to give me the same level of attention.

We went to the party, had a good time and left.

Sunday;

Woke up together, I was still having fight flashbacks. So, do all girls do that thing where they re play every bit of a fight in their head, even though the argument is over and it should have been resolved?  I literally replayed everything that was said a million times and started feeling crappy about it all over again. I then started feeling insecure, wondering why this particular person is able to engulf so much of Brad’s attention. In the end I just needed a girls day. I hung out with one of my friends and I just felt better after stepping away from the situation.

I’m in love with Brad and as of right now, he’s not only my boyfriend, he’s pretty much one of my best friends. I tell him everything. I depend on him for guidance, company and affection. But is that too much? I’ve  decided to just reign it in for a while. I am working on my attention issue. I hate being jealous or feeling like I’m sharing him at any point but I have to be rational. I have to understand that he really likes this girl as a friend and that their interaction is not inappropriate in any way.

I have to be mature about this.

P.S. When this girl confesses her undying love for him for always being such a good friend, I will definitely let you guys know.

Golden Rule: If your significant other is giving you less attention at times, try to understand it.

Tips For Guys: Give your girl attention. Trust me, it will make her a happy clam.

 

Six Months In Our Love Bubble

Hi Ladies! I’ve been Brad’s girl for six whole months. That’s long for me lol. I’m pretty excited about it and I’m quite happy in my relationship which is no small matter. We celebrated by going out for dinner and me being the romantic I am, stole an idea from pinterest. So I know he likes Toblerone Chocolates (because I had some in my room and he ate half the box lol), so I put a bunch in a mason jar with a sweet note and a bow on top. OMG guys, it was so cute! I’m super impressed with myself. (pats self on back) I know he liked it or at least he certainly liked the Toblerones.

I’m happy to say I’ve grown in this relationship into a more secure me. I am happy that nothing has changed since the beginning of the relationship other than the fact that we are slowly morphing into the same person. We definitely have a deeper connection now but its still as fun as the beginning. Are we still in the honeymoon phase? Maybe?!

I also just wanted to add how incredible our sex has been. I think the longer we are together the more we know each other’s desires. We definitely know what we both like and maximize on those things. All I can say is “WOW!”. I find him sexier than ever now and is still pretty enamored with him.

Alright I’ll stop gushing! I just wanted to let ya’ll know we are six months deep lol.

P.S. Super excited for Christmas!

Golden Rule: When you are in love, time flies fast! Enjoy every moment of it.

Tips for Guys: Be the guy that a girl can fall in love with. It’s worth it!

 

Don`t F*** this Up!

Hi Ladies,

Can I be Frank with you guys? I’m in love, for the first time in a long time and can I just say it feels great. I feel like Mary Poppins floating off with her Umbrella. I feel like Cady Heron when she finally got with Aaron Samuels at the end of mean girls. You get it right? I’m Rose  pre-Jack floating off into the ocean. Anyway, yeah you get it.

So the problem I’m having is seriously trying not to mess this up lol. I want to show him all of me, including my crazy and my anxiety. But is it too much? Well if you’ve been a reader of my blog for the past two years, you know that I really value my relationships and that I’m a sweety. An anxious ovethinking sweety but a sweety non the less.

I’m constantly trying to improve me and work out my kinks on my own. I know I’m not perfect and like all girls, we have our flaws. We have things that will annoy the crap out of our significant others and that’s just the way it is. I am however trying to make myself the best girl I can be. I’m always trying to improve on who I am at work, within my family relationships and even just as a human on earth. But especially in my personal relationship, I try to be the best girlfriend all the time.

I’m dating a very confident and secure person. So I’m always trying to be the same except my anxiety gets in the way lol. I guess I have to figure out that I’m allowed to be vulnerable with him and I need to work on being comfortable with it. I also want him to be comfortable being vulnerable with me.

What can I say? I’m still a work in progress. I still have a lot to learn about love and about really sharing myself with another.

Golden Rule: Don’t F*** up a great relationship and work on being okay with your vulnerability.

Tips For Guys: Don’t F*** up a great relationship!

Girl Angst

Hi Ladies! How goes it? How was Halloween?! I had a pretty good Halloween, I spent it with Brad. We set up his house all spooky and giggled at the disdain on toddlers faces when they figured out they’d have to brave our ghoulish setup in order to receive their candy. Some of the faces were just priceless. We even had an over-enthusiastic toddler yell PUMPKIN!! Like really loud at one of our pumpkins. It was hilarious! We ordered pizza and watched the office, it was a pretty near perfect night.

So we are 5 months into our relationship and like many women at this point, I’m feeling some angst. I call it girl angst or “gangst” for short lol. At this point, Brad knows me inside and out. He knows I’m a whiner, he knows I mildly snore when I sleep (emphasis on MILDLY), he knows I get really cranky when I don’t eat and he knows I’m a cuddle bug. Does he like these things? I hope so! It’s at the point when he pretty much knows all there is to know about me and now I start to wonder if he likes any of it. Am I the only one who thinks about this?

I mean at this point, I know quite a lot about him as well. I know most of his habits and vices. I think they are all cute or at least manageable lol. There hasn’t been anything that I would run to the hills for. But as a girl, I am still enamored by him and is still interested to know more. As I am not a guy….. I don’t know what they are thinking. I mean I could always just ask, but where’s the fun in that? lol. Just kidding, I do try to be very open with Brad about what I’m feeling and he is very keen on reciprocating or help me deal with it.

Most likely its nothing and they are just following the natural ebs and flows of our relationship. But what do I do? I overthink and write blogs about my angst! Most of the time to be completely honest, I don’t know where all this angst comes from. All I know is it sucks and I hate overthinking.

In the end, I have to remember that I can’t control anything having to do with matters of the heart and that everything happens for a reason. Wherever this relationship takes me, I’m thankful.

Please listen to Ariana Grande’s song “Thank You, Next”. It’s pretty darn good and is pretty relatable to like every girl out there.

Also, check out our pumpkin creations below. I carved a goofy pumpkin and Brad carved a poop emoji. LOL PUMPKIN!!

Golden Rule: Try to chill out, keep the angst at bay.

Tips For Guys: Girls have angst, don’t worry we try to keep it to ourselves for the most part.

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Our First Vacation

Hi Ladies!

Its actually been a while and of course I have to get you caught up on what’s happening. Where have I been… you may ask. Why I was away with my BF. We went on a little getaway to Montreal and Ottawa. Those are Canadian cities for all my international readers. They were lovely cities and we had so much fun. We also spent ALOT of money, but that’s for a whole other blog lol.

Our first stop was Montreal where we stayed for 4 days 3 nights. The most amazing thing about that city is the food. Really good food….. and we all know, that’s pretty much all it takes to make a good vacation. We went site seeing and did basic touristy stuff but of course doing all that stuff with Brad was super fun. Sure we got lost sometimes, frustrated and mad but we never really got mad at each other which was great. We just like sarcasm’d each other to death.

After Montreal we hit up Ottawa, Canada’s capital. I was hoping to get a glance of our prime minister but we just got a glance of his house instead or where his house should be. Can we say “Privacy Trees”. We barely saw anything. Anyway in this fair city we explored Parliament Hill and went for long walk along rivers and such. We ate at one of the fanciest restaurants I have ever been to in my  whole middle classed life. I wanted to eat everything on the menu but sadly couldn’t afford it. We spent 3 days in Ottawa and polished off our trip by going to a Cold War Bunker 30 minutes outside of Ottawa. It was very cool but also quite chilling.

Did I mention that we drove the whole way. Yup! Around 5 hours each way. Can you believe we didn’t kill each other?! We still care about each other and I’m happier now than ever that I met him. What a guy! lol. Alright I’m done gushing. Below I’ve attached a picture of our Parliament building, just so you can also experience the beauty and wonder that is Ottawa.

Golden Rule: Take a trip with Bae, you’ll learn things about each other.

Tips For Guys: Have a lot of Vacation sex with your girl. She’ll appreciate it when she gets back to her boring mundane life. lol

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Happiness & Havana Nights

Hi Ladies, I’m just returning from a 5 day long hiatus from  my life. Where did I go? I went to Cuba and it was beautiful. I will leave you with a stunning photo of  a bridge in the town of Mantanzas below. It was hot, the beach was stunning and the drinks were great. The food however, was not spectacular. I was basically on a 5 day long diet because the resort’s assortment of food wasn’t the best. When I traveled to Havana however, I did have the tastiest meal of the trip which consisted of Chicken, rice and beans. So simple but so delicious.

While I was there, my mother and I encountered a girl whom was having domestic violence issues with her BF that she brought on vacation with her. This poor girl literally spent an entire day drinking because of a physical altercation that she had with him the night before. She told anyone that would listen her story of domestic violence and sadness while being thoroughly intoxicated. For a whole night I was on edge and trying to help this girl. I realized I couldn’t help her when I asked her to tell the front desk the situation to see if she could maybe switch rooms or something; to which her response was “I hate him and I love him.” That’s basically when I gave up on her. Long story short she was fine and continued her trip with this guy for a whole 2 days after and even sat behind me on the plane ride back. I felt sick to my stomach to watch her go around with this guy knowing what he  had done to her and was possibly going to do to her again in the near future.

Her whole ordeal just made me realize that women must focus on their own happiness as well as their partners. In relationships, I find that I genuinely strive to make my partner happy because them being fulfilled makes me fulfilled. Nothing is better than seeing the person I care about happy especially Brad because I think he’s pretty awesome. This may be interpreted as being a people pleaser or somewhat annoying but its just the way I am in a relationship. This is fully who I am and i’m being open and honest about it? Should I change this aspect of me? Do nice girls who are devoted and value their partner’s happiness finish last? Give me some feedback below.

Brad did not come on my vacation with me and I missed him terribly while I was away. When I came back we spent a couple days together. Me trying not to think about returning to work and trying to stay in vacation mode as long as possible. Being away has made me want to do somethings differently in my life.

I want to focus on my goals and things that I want to achieve.

I want to form disciplinary habits and regulate my life more. Life is so short and I’m not exactly a kid anymore. There are things that I had hoped to achieve by now, that I still haven’t. I know I can achieve them if I focus on them. Being in Cuba; witnessing the poverty and the strife of the people there has made me appreciate my freedoms a lot more.

Golden Rule: Focus on you sometimes, try to achieve some goals and revel in the feeling of fulfillment.

Tips For Guys: Try to make your girl happy because most likely your happiness is what she is focused on.

Mantanzas