Quarantine

Hi Ladies,

I won’t be one of those people who complain about being bored in quarantine even though I am. As I understand that it’s saving all our lives by doing so.

As we discussed in my previous post, I am not quarantining with Brad for various safety precautions. Earlier today it was announced that this could go on for 12 more weeks.

Now ladies if you are shacked up with your significant other right now, you have won. You are winning. I am horny, crazy, bored and at this point just sad. I am trying not to think of three of the longest months of the year rolling by while I’m stuck staring at my ceiling. At this point, I won’t be seeing Brad until the middle of summer.

I honestly am feeling a plethora of emotions right now. Was I a thief in another life? Should we have moved in together sooner? And I get it, besides my relationship there is a whole pandemic happening. With so much chaos and uncertainty, this is when we need our loved ones most and I don’t have Brad.

We talk on the phone and we play games together but for me, nothing can replace physical time together. He is currently still going to work and I’m not. So at this point he’s seeing everyone in his life except me. I understand all the risks of seeing each other but I’m not going to lie this sucks in a major way.

Imagine; Dating, Falling in love, getting attached, looking to live together and then boom 3-4 months apart. That’s pretty natural right?

I have told him that my biggest fear is that some aspects of our relationship will change after spending so much time apart. I feel myself retreating and getting even more closed off. It’s my defense mechanism. I can’t cry all day so I have to distance myself from the situation.

I honestly don’t know what the future holds for any of us. I am sending good vibes out to anyone stuck in the house away from their significant other. At this point our 2 year anniversary will be spent away from each other.

This is a crazy time and I have no advice for anyone except stay safe and try to retain your sanity.

Stress Eating

Hi Ladies!

What happens when work is stressing you out, you only see your man 2 times a week, 3 if you’re lucky and your friends live some distance away?

You start stress eating. This week alone, I have eaten sooo much crap. At work I just like drinking diet pop to keep me going. That’s not good for me. I always feel super bloated after.

Then I don’t see my boyfriend, so I just go home and eat alone. Then go to bed.

Bottom line is, I hate being fat. Then I look in the mirror and I’m like WTF?! And then that stresses me out. Who’s a brides maid in two weddings this year? Yup, I am! It’s just the perfect year to be chubby, stressed and annoyed.

By the way, this is me being positive lol. Today was a good day until I saw how chubby I was and how alone I felt.

Brad works nights every other week but sometimes it’s like two weeks in a row. It’s pretty sad because I literally am doing everything by myself in the week. That would be okay if my friends were around but they are all like a 45 minute drive. I mean….. should I make new friends?

IDK, I just wanted to vent a little.

Yours Truly,

Chubby Chubby Bunny.

Thirty, Flirty and Tired

Hello Ladies!

My day job is taking over my life but here lies my true passion. I have recently turned the big 3 0! It’s shocking. I literally thought I would be in my 20’s forever or forever 21.

Now that I have entered a new chapter, I am looking forward to all adulthood is ready to teach me. Probably weird health things, or I assume my organs will need to be checked or something. I suddenly start to fee real sluggish around 9 PM, is that an old people thing?

Brad and I hosted a giant party for my birthday at his house. It was delightful. My hunny got me the most perfect cake and the cutest gifts. My friends were all around me. It was pretty much a kickass birthday. The only thing is, now I’ve gotta top it!

Brad and I are in a really good place despite all the past drama. For the most part there hasn’t been any other woman running interference. I’m looking ahead into our future which I think is Uber bright.

Well that’s it folks! I made it to 30 and only cried a handful of times so that’s an accomplishment!

I’ll keep y’all posted on what’s coming next!

Delicate Dance

Hi Ladies,

If being single is hard, being in a relationship is even harder. It’s a delicate dance of do we or don’t we. This relationship that I’m currently in is by far the most significant one that I have ever had with any other partner. And sometimes it’s just not what I expect.

I watch Rom Coms where things are constantly romantic and where your partner should be like the person who’s company you most enjoy.

No where in the Rom Com is there a part about not being able to sleep comfortably with your partner or like needing time a part. Or like being confused about when it’s appropriate to spend time together and when to spend time apart. Or just like feeling like you’re on the same page but different paragraphs.

I need to learn but honestly I can’t get the gist.

Here’s me, looking myself in the mirror telling myself I need to change. I need to be okay with certain things and I need to not let every little thing make me feel crappy. I need to get busy, I need to work out and I need to feel valued by myself.

Golden Rule: Sometimes, you need to have an honest talk with yourself about what you want out of a relationship and if it’s reasonable to have.

Tips for guys: If your girl wants to cuddle, freakin cuddle.

Things That Girls Do….

Hi Ladies,

So this weekend was quite interesting.

Friday;

Absolutely wonderful. Work sucked but then after I got to see Brad and we ordered pizza and we had amazing, passionate sex. I felt so close to him, physically and emotionally. I love when we connect like that, it literally re-affirms that he is this amazing human and I am so happy he’s all mine.

Saturday;

On this particular Saturday Brad had to work until 4 PM, when he normally works  until like 1 PM. I was pretty bummed on his behalf because I would hate to have to work my whole Saturday away. So when he’s at work, he gets busy and of course being busy = not much attention. Me being an attention hoarder has had to get use to that overtime. I am fairly aware that I require more attention than most. I’m working on that lol.

So at times when he’s at work and not paying attention to me or at least less than the usual amount. Or even texting me back but not like anything engaging, it usually has to do with his company at work. Brad works in a female dominated field and much of his co-workers are women. I am sure I have mentioned this before lol. Since I have been in a relationship for a year; I would like to think that I have matured, have become less jealous and is just generally all around a bigger person. I will try to describe this situation with some sophistication.

I have noticed over the year, that when Brad is working with one particular co-worker is simultaneously when his attention is less engaging. We have had chats about this co-worker and she seems to be a subject of contention in our relationship. Brad has known this girl for a long time and when they get together they have tons to catch up on and talk about. They have a lot in common and rarely get to work together. They share relationship problems and give each other advice and things of that nature. In this scenario, is it fair for me to be jealous or dismayed that when he works with her he is simply having more fun that other nights and that leads to me not getting the standard attention that I’m use to?

Needless to say, we got in a fight about this. The fight was mainly because I didn’t know he was working with her but I did notice him being disengaged. Then when I found out that coincidentally he was working with this lassie, I became enraged. Am I insecure? Maybe… she’s been in his  life a long time, they have a lot in common and she’s blonde.

So we got into a fight right before we had to go to a backyard movie night planned by one of my friends. We tried to resolve it before we went and we did come to a solution. The solution is that I need to be more understanding that on these particular instances I will most likely get less attention, and that Brad will actively make an effort to give me the same level of attention.

We went to the party, had a good time and left.

Sunday;

Woke up together, I was still having fight flashbacks. So, do all girls do that thing where they re play every bit of a fight in their head, even though the argument is over and it should have been resolved?  I literally replayed everything that was said a million times and started feeling crappy about it all over again. I then started feeling insecure, wondering why this particular person is able to engulf so much of Brad’s attention. In the end I just needed a girls day. I hung out with one of my friends and I just felt better after stepping away from the situation.

I’m in love with Brad and as of right now, he’s not only my boyfriend, he’s pretty much one of my best friends. I tell him everything. I depend on him for guidance, company and affection. But is that too much? I’ve  decided to just reign it in for a while. I am working on my attention issue. I hate being jealous or feeling like I’m sharing him at any point but I have to be rational. I have to understand that he really likes this girl as a friend and that their interaction is not inappropriate in any way.

I have to be mature about this.

P.S. When this girl confesses her undying love for him for always being such a good friend, I will definitely let you guys know.

Golden Rule: If your significant other is giving you less attention at times, try to understand it.

Tips For Guys: Give your girl attention. Trust me, it will make her a happy clam.

 

Summer Summer Summer Time.

Hi Ladies!

I know I haven’t been writing much lately and that’s not good! Life is definitely getting in the way of my juicy relationship stories.

What’s been going on with Brad and I, you ask? He has been getting to know the family. He has been to several family events and he is now very familiar with members of my clan. They like him too but is he getting overwhelmed? Yes. Can he remember everyone’s names? Nope, but that’s natural. To be honest he’s only met less than a quarter of my family. I’m easing him in slowly. (That’s what she said)

We officially had a talk with my mom about buying a house together. She was pretty chill about the talk but I can tell she is melting inside like butter in a microwave. She is scared for her baby girl to leave her, live with a man and for me to be on my own. She’s also scared to be on her own. Who can blame her? These are all completely rational fears.

I’ll keep you posted on how and when buying a house with Brad goes. Who knew we would get here? Time sure flies when you are dating a committed, loving man. Remember in my earlier blogs when I thought this wouldn’t happen? Yeah me too. He’s not perfect but I love his imperfections. I’ll talk about those in another post. Lol.

Ladies, there is Hope yet.

Being single is still hard I’m sure, but I’m not single anymore. I don’t wanna jinx it though.

Golden Rule: If you want to buy a house with your lover, try to not already buy one with your parent.

Tips for guys: Commitment is everything. Girls love a guy who can commit.

Send Me Some Good Vibes

Hello Ladies! Its been almost a month since I have posted and that’s just because my life is literally a roller coaster. I had another car accident, YES another one. How annoying right? I am trying to figure out why these things happen to me. I am just trying to stay positive and look to the future.

My sister sent me this quote today. “Adulting is like looking two ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane”. I literally never see half the things that are coming before they happen. Regardless, I’m hanging in there and is going car shopping this weekend. Do I have money for a new car? The answer is no……. but do I need a car? Unfortunately, yes.

So here I go, moving into the future with the hope that things will work out. Is being single hard? Or is being alive hard? I would say both.

Brad and I are still going strong. He calls me a goofball and we laugh so much. He is exactly what I need in my turbulent life. His  life is like a calm peaceful river while mine is a little boat in a ginormous storm. Lets hope the little boat was like built by Elon Musk!

All in all….. life is rough sometimes. I have got to keep my head up and keep moving.

Send me all the positive vibes you got, I could sure use it.

Love Plant

Hi Ladies!

So Valentine’s Day just passed and I actually had a valentine for once! We went for dinner and exchanged gifts. And there were candles involved. All very romantic and certainly made me feel loved.

I was gifted a love plant. A plant that I’m tasked with keeping alive as it’s a representation of our love. No pressure or anything. I’ll have to do my very best, it might be hard as I don’t have a green thumb or a green anything.

I had a wonderful night with my babe but sometimes I wonder…. how do we measure love? Remember that song by Michael Bolton? “When a man loves a woman” Que wind machine. Like I grew up thinking love was exactly like Michael Bolton said. When a man loves you, he’ll do anything for you. He’ll respect you, he’ll try to never hurt you. When a woman loves a man it’s exactly the same. She respects him and tries to never hurt him.

I hope love never changes. I want to feel like Michael Bolton is following me and Brad around everywhere we go. I want that old school love. I want love that is true and committed.

No golden rules tonight or tips. Just love each other. Let’s not let love change or mutate. Let’s keep it simple.

I’m Ready For You 2019

Hi Ladies! It has been another great year sharing my relationships stories and adventures with you. Thanks so much for reading!

I have written many a self – reflecting, self – realization type blogs in the past and here is the first one for 2019.

I am about to be 29 years old and am just realizing now that I really need to change the way I think and think about my happiness. I feel like a lot of us girls put a lot of stock into relationships and that sways the way we feel about ourselves. I’m also guilty of this, but we need to know what makes US happy.

This year lets all find our happy place. Lets take some time to know ourselves and find our own joy. Our independent Joy.

I am very happy in my relationship with Brad. We are learning and growing as a couple. Getting to my own happiness and joy will only improve our relationship.

Golden Rule: Make this year about you and your happiness.

Tips For Guys: Find your happy place too, although i’m pretty sure most guys already know where this is!

 

Crystals Are A Girl’s Best Friend!

Merry Christmas Ladies! I hope you had a wonderful holiday season. I am very blessed to have had a great holiday season even though everything isn’t perfect in my working life at the moment. I am thankful for my friends, family and my boyfriend. Speaking of Brad, I just wanted to talk about one of my Christmas gifts.

So he did get me many things but of all the things, I am most grateful for my Swarovski Earrings. They are little silver hoops with Swarovski crystals. They are super beautiful! Now I may be biased because they are from my favorite guy but yeah, they are stunning. I mean lets just start with the fact that I have never gotten jewelry from a man before! Sad? Yeah I know. To all the ladies out there who have gotten countless pieces of jewelry from men, be thankful. It’s honestly very rare for me lol.

Needless to say, I love them and will wear them forever! I was considering wearing them everyday, but then I thought nah, my other earrings would get jealous and we certainly don’t want that!

I just wanted to say, lets make 2019 awesome. For me 2018 was a mixed bag. Lots of bad things happened along with good things. I want 2019 and every year going forward to be filled with decisions and ideas all geared toward making me successful. I wish you all the same!

Also, thanks for reading for the whole year ladies!

Golden Rule: Getting your first piece of jewelry  from your BF is major, so cherish that moment.

Tips For Guys: Get her jewelry whenever you can! She can never have enough lol.