Quarantine

Hi Ladies,

I won’t be one of those people who complain about being bored in quarantine even though I am. As I understand that it’s saving all our lives by doing so.

As we discussed in my previous post, I am not quarantining with Brad for various safety precautions. Earlier today it was announced that this could go on for 12 more weeks.

Now ladies if you are shacked up with your significant other right now, you have won. You are winning. I am horny, crazy, bored and at this point just sad. I am trying not to think of three of the longest months of the year rolling by while I’m stuck staring at my ceiling. At this point, I won’t be seeing Brad until the middle of summer.

I honestly am feeling a plethora of emotions right now. Was I a thief in another life? Should we have moved in together sooner? And I get it, besides my relationship there is a whole pandemic happening. With so much chaos and uncertainty, this is when we need our loved ones most and I don’t have Brad.

We talk on the phone and we play games together but for me, nothing can replace physical time together. He is currently still going to work and I’m not. So at this point he’s seeing everyone in his life except me. I understand all the risks of seeing each other but I’m not going to lie this sucks in a major way.

Imagine; Dating, Falling in love, getting attached, looking to live together and then boom 3-4 months apart. That’s pretty natural right?

I have told him that my biggest fear is that some aspects of our relationship will change after spending so much time apart. I feel myself retreating and getting even more closed off. It’s my defense mechanism. I can’t cry all day so I have to distance myself from the situation.

I honestly don’t know what the future holds for any of us. I am sending good vibes out to anyone stuck in the house away from their significant other. At this point our 2 year anniversary will be spent away from each other.

This is a crazy time and I have no advice for anyone except stay safe and try to retain your sanity.

Stress Eating

Hi Ladies!

What happens when work is stressing you out, you only see your man 2 times a week, 3 if you’re lucky and your friends live some distance away?

You start stress eating. This week alone, I have eaten sooo much crap. At work I just like drinking diet pop to keep me going. That’s not good for me. I always feel super bloated after.

Then I don’t see my boyfriend, so I just go home and eat alone. Then go to bed.

Bottom line is, I hate being fat. Then I look in the mirror and I’m like WTF?! And then that stresses me out. Who’s a brides maid in two weddings this year? Yup, I am! It’s just the perfect year to be chubby, stressed and annoyed.

By the way, this is me being positive lol. Today was a good day until I saw how chubby I was and how alone I felt.

Brad works nights every other week but sometimes it’s like two weeks in a row. It’s pretty sad because I literally am doing everything by myself in the week. That would be okay if my friends were around but they are all like a 45 minute drive. I mean….. should I make new friends?

IDK, I just wanted to vent a little.

Yours Truly,

Chubby Chubby Bunny.

Thirty, Flirty and Tired

Hello Ladies!

My day job is taking over my life but here lies my true passion. I have recently turned the big 3 0! It’s shocking. I literally thought I would be in my 20’s forever or forever 21.

Now that I have entered a new chapter, I am looking forward to all adulthood is ready to teach me. Probably weird health things, or I assume my organs will need to be checked or something. I suddenly start to fee real sluggish around 9 PM, is that an old people thing?

Brad and I hosted a giant party for my birthday at his house. It was delightful. My hunny got me the most perfect cake and the cutest gifts. My friends were all around me. It was pretty much a kickass birthday. The only thing is, now I’ve gotta top it!

Brad and I are in a really good place despite all the past drama. For the most part there hasn’t been any other woman running interference. I’m looking ahead into our future which I think is Uber bright.

Well that’s it folks! I made it to 30 and only cried a handful of times so that’s an accomplishment!

I’ll keep y’all posted on what’s coming next!

Delicate Dance

Hi Ladies,

If being single is hard, being in a relationship is even harder. It’s a delicate dance of do we or don’t we. This relationship that I’m currently in is by far the most significant one that I have ever had with any other partner. And sometimes it’s just not what I expect.

I watch Rom Coms where things are constantly romantic and where your partner should be like the person who’s company you most enjoy.

No where in the Rom Com is there a part about not being able to sleep comfortably with your partner or like needing time a part. Or like being confused about when it’s appropriate to spend time together and when to spend time apart. Or just like feeling like you’re on the same page but different paragraphs.

I need to learn but honestly I can’t get the gist.

Here’s me, looking myself in the mirror telling myself I need to change. I need to be okay with certain things and I need to not let every little thing make me feel crappy. I need to get busy, I need to work out and I need to feel valued by myself.

Golden Rule: Sometimes, you need to have an honest talk with yourself about what you want out of a relationship and if it’s reasonable to have.

Tips for guys: If your girl wants to cuddle, freakin cuddle.

What A Year 2020 Will Be

Ladies! Sound the alarm, my blog has been infiltrated. Hide your wives, hide your children, JK. No but seriously I think our past lovers have come back to haunt us or furious attempted lovers. Where do I start? With the juicy information? Nope!

Happy New Year you filthy animals! It’s 2020, we are getting dangerously close to cyborgs and hover boards. Over the holidays Brad and I took a massive road trip to Maine to visit my sister. We had a lovely picturesque snowy Christmas there. Then we drove through upstate NY on our way back. This trip really brought us closer together and pointed out some key information to me about our relationship. The most important one is that we can drive in a car together for 6 hours with only one break without wanting to kill each other. Okay there was maybe one argument but scouts honor that was it.

My sister sure approved of him with her closing statement being “He’s Tall.” She made him reach all the high cupboards and take down things she hadn’t seen for years. Well you get it, Christmas was mint.

On to New Years. We went to one of Brad’s family friends house for a party. It was a lot of games, food, drinks and really loud people. Brad and I had our midnight smooch but sadly didn’t get to seal the deal that night. (Wink)

Am I being way more raunchy? Idk, new year, new……. writing style?

As for the drama, I won’t give anyone the satisfaction of going into detail but basically I think someone out there would like for Brad and I to part ways. To what end, I have no clue.

My last blog was a bit emotionally raw and true. I want you all to know that relationships, even really good ones such as mine, have their low points. Brad and I did have an epic fight surrounding the subject of my last blog. (If you wanna know so bad, go read it!)

We have since mended and put the past behind us because we know who we are and what we have. We know we are building a future and we also know that we aren’t perfect! I love my hunny and plan to stick with him through the ups and downs. I won’t pull a Hillary but he knows way better than to pull a Bill.

No golden rule on this one. I’m just sending all my readers good vibes and wishing you all the very best for your new year!

We Are Not Perfect

Hi Ladies,

I just wanted to let you guys know that no relationship is perfect. Brad and I have been having this on-going issue, involving another girl outside of our relationship. Now when I met Brad he came encompassed with all these young, female (some single, some not) friends. Like most girls who start a new relationship I was not comfortable.

Brad has made profound improvements in this regard. He really tries to stay clear of anything that makes me uncomfortable or any interactions that he knows will make me feel not great. However, lol. One still remains.

There is a particular friend whom we have had controversies with concerning some interactions. Stuff that any girl would feel weird about or not appreciate. The problem is that with this particular human, Brad doesn’t really agree that some things were inappropriate.

When he is with this particular individual something else happens. His phone is a deadzone lol. So say I’m chatting away, just telling him usual stuff, expecting a response. Maybe not right away but like within a reasonable time. I’ll either get no response or like weird half answers. So Ofcourse I didn’t feel great about that. And I would notice it most with this particular girl. Like I would just feel the distance.

I have discussed this with Brad and since then have seen major improvements. He has had to actively try to stay attentive when this person is around. Which makes me feel eeeeeeeek. He says it’s because they don’t get to see each other that much so when they do, they have lots to say. I also basically just need to accept this as I do get quite upset every time it happens. Shouldn’t I be use to this by now?

In the most recent incident she asked Brad something that had somewhat to do with me. And like it just feels like my feelings were not considered you know. It just felt like this thing was only about her. And it sucked. After the fact Brad and I discussed but there is like no going back on this thing. Also I would think if it was between me being upset and her being upset. Mine would be more crucial or important but I felt like that wasn’t the case.

This is the one thing that hasn’t really changed much in almost two years. There is no shaking her. And I feel terrible for being that girlfriend that steps in the way of friendships. My fear is that there may be something more than friendship happening there but Brad vehemently disagrees. I feel like freakin Darth Vader every time I bring it up.

Because Ofcourse she’s like a happy little fairy girl. Who doesn’t like that right? While I’m an overthinking, intellectual adult who still allows a fairy girl to make me feel like shit.

Naturally in these scenarios where someone else has your boyfriends attention, you start to over analyze and compare. And comparison is never good. I compact every interaction they have ever had into a little box. And every time she’s brought up, I open this little box and all the uncomfortable feelings seep out. Kinda like in that movie the ring where like that dead girls hair just like comes out of no where and stifles you. Super similar to that.

Brad Ofcourse hates that I do this. Because he literally doesn’t remember anything that has happened with this person past last Tuesday. Is that like a guy thing?

So anyway, this is my dilemma. This problem is not going anywhere as he has to see this person on a semi-regular basis. Some aspects of this situation does make me feel insecure. The usual questions. Am I not interesting enough? Not pretty enough? Not fairy like enough?

Because intrinsically that’s what happens. I don’t feel like enough. I should be so enough that no other human can do this. As no other human does this to me in regards to Brad. But that’s just it. Brad and I are different and see things differently.

So then I’ll think like maybe I’m just being too sensitive or maybe a bit over critical. But then I bring up specific scenarios with my friends and even my MOM. And my mom would say, “hmmmmm something doesn’t seem right with this girl.”

So that’s the dilemma. I have no advice this week but I sure need some.

Love Plant

Hi Ladies!

So Valentine’s Day just passed and I actually had a valentine for once! We went for dinner and exchanged gifts. And there were candles involved. All very romantic and certainly made me feel loved.

I was gifted a love plant. A plant that I’m tasked with keeping alive as it’s a representation of our love. No pressure or anything. I’ll have to do my very best, it might be hard as I don’t have a green thumb or a green anything.

I had a wonderful night with my babe but sometimes I wonder…. how do we measure love? Remember that song by Michael Bolton? “When a man loves a woman” Que wind machine. Like I grew up thinking love was exactly like Michael Bolton said. When a man loves you, he’ll do anything for you. He’ll respect you, he’ll try to never hurt you. When a woman loves a man it’s exactly the same. She respects him and tries to never hurt him.

I hope love never changes. I want to feel like Michael Bolton is following me and Brad around everywhere we go. I want that old school love. I want love that is true and committed.

No golden rules tonight or tips. Just love each other. Let’s not let love change or mutate. Let’s keep it simple.

I’m Ready For You 2019

Hi Ladies! It has been another great year sharing my relationships stories and adventures with you. Thanks so much for reading!

I have written many a self – reflecting, self – realization type blogs in the past and here is the first one for 2019.

I am about to be 29 years old and am just realizing now that I really need to change the way I think and think about my happiness. I feel like a lot of us girls put a lot of stock into relationships and that sways the way we feel about ourselves. I’m also guilty of this, but we need to know what makes US happy.

This year lets all find our happy place. Lets take some time to know ourselves and find our own joy. Our independent Joy.

I am very happy in my relationship with Brad. We are learning and growing as a couple. Getting to my own happiness and joy will only improve our relationship.

Golden Rule: Make this year about you and your happiness.

Tips For Guys: Find your happy place too, although i’m pretty sure most guys already know where this is!

 

Whimsical Cottage Getaway

Hello Ladies!

What have I been up to you may ask? I’m just chillen and working, having fun with cutie pie Brad. So Brad Paisley’s family owns a cottage, no shocker there. He is Brad Paisley after all. This past weekend he thought it would be a good idea for us to take a little trip. It’s only two hours away but it’s good to know that I can be in a car with him for two hours. We literally just listened to music and talked and laughed. Not a bad travelling partner.

His cottage was beautiful and I had a bunch of new experiences. I rode an ATV. Not to worry Brad was at the helm. I just prayed for my life and held on tight. I drove a boat for the first time as well. I quickly realized how fun cottage life is and is hastily looking into my own cottage lol. You know once this blog takes off and I start making tons of money lol. For now my cottage dream is on hold.

Anyway, I thought it was super sweet of him to invite me up there and boy did I sure have fun. I was also ingesting at a steady pace some very delicious wine. That definitely helped me to relax and unwind. It’s was a whimsical trip.

Golden Rule: If your guy ever invites you on a cottage getaway, please do it!

Tips for Guys: Buy a cottage.

Brad’s Back

Hello Ladies,

Remember Brad….. Brad Paisley? Yeah so we are trying again. I know! My life is dizzying. How did this happen you may ask? Me being a weak weak woman and missing him. So you know how when you miss a guy so much, but you just totally suppress it? Or you type the “I miss you text” but not press send? Well I sent it. Then he said he missed me back, which I thought was nice and I was really happy he missed me.

Then he read my last blog and yes he reads my blog. That’s a whole other story. So yes he probably will be reading this. Intruder Alert! Lol.

He then basically replied to my blog/ explained stuff in further detail. At the end he proposed trying again and maybe going slowly. I accepted because I’m a softy and because I honestly think he’s a great guy. I think we have something but I can really only speak for my feelings. As we all know the other party may not feel the same.

As for me, I have toned my feelings way down and is just taking it slow. I don’t want to rush into anything because I’m really scared of getting hurt again. This time I’m just way more relaxed. I realize that this is out of my control and as always in a relationship you only know how you feel.

So that’s what’s happening, I’ll keep you posted on my status lol. Playing it totally aloof and totally by ear lol

Being in a relationship is hard.

Golden Rule: Maybe send the “I miss you” text sometimes, you never know what comes of it.

Tips for guys: If you think a girl is worth a second chance, give it to her.