What A Year 2020 Will Be

Ladies! Sound the alarm, my blog has been infiltrated. Hide your wives, hide your children, JK. No but seriously I think our past lovers have come back to haunt us or furious attempted lovers. Where do I start? With the juicy information? Nope!

Happy New Year you filthy animals! It’s 2020, we are getting dangerously close to cyborgs and hover boards. Over the holidays Brad and I took a massive road trip to Maine to visit my sister. We had a lovely picturesque snowy Christmas there. Then we drove through upstate NY on our way back. This trip really brought us closer together and pointed out some key information to me about our relationship. The most important one is that we can drive in a car together for 6 hours with only one break without wanting to kill each other. Okay there was maybe one argument but scouts honor that was it.

My sister sure approved of him with her closing statement being “He’s Tall.” She made him reach all the high cupboards and take down things she hadn’t seen for years. Well you get it, Christmas was mint.

On to New Years. We went to one of Brad’s family friends house for a party. It was a lot of games, food, drinks and really loud people. Brad and I had our midnight smooch but sadly didn’t get to seal the deal that night. (Wink)

Am I being way more raunchy? Idk, new year, new……. writing style?

As for the drama, I won’t give anyone the satisfaction of going into detail but basically I think someone out there would like for Brad and I to part ways. To what end, I have no clue.

My last blog was a bit emotionally raw and true. I want you all to know that relationships, even really good ones such as mine, have their low points. Brad and I did have an epic fight surrounding the subject of my last blog. (If you wanna know so bad, go read it!)

We have since mended and put the past behind us because we know who we are and what we have. We know we are building a future and we also know that we aren’t perfect! I love my hunny and plan to stick with him through the ups and downs. I won’t pull a Hillary but he knows way better than to pull a Bill.

No golden rule on this one. I’m just sending all my readers good vibes and wishing you all the very best for your new year!

We Are Not Perfect

Hi Ladies,

I just wanted to let you guys know that no relationship is perfect. Brad and I have been having this on-going issue, involving another girl outside of our relationship. Now when I met Brad he came encompassed with all these young, female (some single, some not) friends. Like most girls who start a new relationship I was not comfortable.

Brad has made profound improvements in this regard. He really tries to stay clear of anything that makes me uncomfortable or any interactions that he knows will make me feel not great. However, lol. One still remains.

There is a particular friend whom we have had controversies with concerning some interactions. Stuff that any girl would feel weird about or not appreciate. The problem is that with this particular human, Brad doesn’t really agree that some things were inappropriate.

When he is with this particular individual something else happens. His phone is a deadzone lol. So say I’m chatting away, just telling him usual stuff, expecting a response. Maybe not right away but like within a reasonable time. I’ll either get no response or like weird half answers. So Ofcourse I didn’t feel great about that. And I would notice it most with this particular girl. Like I would just feel the distance.

I have discussed this with Brad and since then have seen major improvements. He has had to actively try to stay attentive when this person is around. Which makes me feel eeeeeeeek. He says it’s because they don’t get to see each other that much so when they do, they have lots to say. I also basically just need to accept this as I do get quite upset every time it happens. Shouldn’t I be use to this by now?

In the most recent incident she asked Brad something that had somewhat to do with me. And like it just feels like my feelings were not considered you know. It just felt like this thing was only about her. And it sucked. After the fact Brad and I discussed but there is like no going back on this thing. Also I would think if it was between me being upset and her being upset. Mine would be more crucial or important but I felt like that wasn’t the case.

This is the one thing that hasn’t really changed much in almost two years. There is no shaking her. And I feel terrible for being that girlfriend that steps in the way of friendships. My fear is that there may be something more than friendship happening there but Brad vehemently disagrees. I feel like freakin Darth Vader every time I bring it up.

Because Ofcourse she’s like a happy little fairy girl. Who doesn’t like that right? While I’m an overthinking, intellectual adult who still allows a fairy girl to make me feel like shit.

Naturally in these scenarios where someone else has your boyfriends attention, you start to over analyze and compare. And comparison is never good. I compact every interaction they have ever had into a little box. And every time she’s brought up, I open this little box and all the uncomfortable feelings seep out. Kinda like in that movie the ring where like that dead girls hair just like comes out of no where and stifles you. Super similar to that.

Brad Ofcourse hates that I do this. Because he literally doesn’t remember anything that has happened with this person past last Tuesday. Is that like a guy thing?

So anyway, this is my dilemma. This problem is not going anywhere as he has to see this person on a semi-regular basis. Some aspects of this situation does make me feel insecure. The usual questions. Am I not interesting enough? Not pretty enough? Not fairy like enough?

Because intrinsically that’s what happens. I don’t feel like enough. I should be so enough that no other human can do this. As no other human does this to me in regards to Brad. But that’s just it. Brad and I are different and see things differently.

So then I’ll think like maybe I’m just being too sensitive or maybe a bit over critical. But then I bring up specific scenarios with my friends and even my MOM. And my mom would say, “hmmmmm something doesn’t seem right with this girl.”

So that’s the dilemma. I have no advice this week but I sure need some.

Love Plant

Hi Ladies!

So Valentine’s Day just passed and I actually had a valentine for once! We went for dinner and exchanged gifts. And there were candles involved. All very romantic and certainly made me feel loved.

I was gifted a love plant. A plant that I’m tasked with keeping alive as it’s a representation of our love. No pressure or anything. I’ll have to do my very best, it might be hard as I don’t have a green thumb or a green anything.

I had a wonderful night with my babe but sometimes I wonder…. how do we measure love? Remember that song by Michael Bolton? “When a man loves a woman” Que wind machine. Like I grew up thinking love was exactly like Michael Bolton said. When a man loves you, he’ll do anything for you. He’ll respect you, he’ll try to never hurt you. When a woman loves a man it’s exactly the same. She respects him and tries to never hurt him.

I hope love never changes. I want to feel like Michael Bolton is following me and Brad around everywhere we go. I want that old school love. I want love that is true and committed.

No golden rules tonight or tips. Just love each other. Let’s not let love change or mutate. Let’s keep it simple.

I’m Ready For You 2019

Hi Ladies! It has been another great year sharing my relationships stories and adventures with you. Thanks so much for reading!

I have written many a self – reflecting, self – realization type blogs in the past and here is the first one for 2019.

I am about to be 29 years old and am just realizing now that I really need to change the way I think and think about my happiness. I feel like a lot of us girls put a lot of stock into relationships and that sways the way we feel about ourselves. I’m also guilty of this, but we need to know what makes US happy.

This year lets all find our happy place. Lets take some time to know ourselves and find our own joy. Our independent Joy.

I am very happy in my relationship with Brad. We are learning and growing as a couple. Getting to my own happiness and joy will only improve our relationship.

Golden Rule: Make this year about you and your happiness.

Tips For Guys: Find your happy place too, although i’m pretty sure most guys already know where this is!

 

Whimsical Cottage Getaway

Hello Ladies!

What have I been up to you may ask? I’m just chillen and working, having fun with cutie pie Brad. So Brad Paisley’s family owns a cottage, no shocker there. He is Brad Paisley after all. This past weekend he thought it would be a good idea for us to take a little trip. It’s only two hours away but it’s good to know that I can be in a car with him for two hours. We literally just listened to music and talked and laughed. Not a bad travelling partner.

His cottage was beautiful and I had a bunch of new experiences. I rode an ATV. Not to worry Brad was at the helm. I just prayed for my life and held on tight. I drove a boat for the first time as well. I quickly realized how fun cottage life is and is hastily looking into my own cottage lol. You know once this blog takes off and I start making tons of money lol. For now my cottage dream is on hold.

Anyway, I thought it was super sweet of him to invite me up there and boy did I sure have fun. I was also ingesting at a steady pace some very delicious wine. That definitely helped me to relax and unwind. It’s was a whimsical trip.

Golden Rule: If your guy ever invites you on a cottage getaway, please do it!

Tips for Guys: Buy a cottage.

Brad’s Back

Hello Ladies,

Remember Brad….. Brad Paisley? Yeah so we are trying again. I know! My life is dizzying. How did this happen you may ask? Me being a weak weak woman and missing him. So you know how when you miss a guy so much, but you just totally suppress it? Or you type the “I miss you text” but not press send? Well I sent it. Then he said he missed me back, which I thought was nice and I was really happy he missed me.

Then he read my last blog and yes he reads my blog. That’s a whole other story. So yes he probably will be reading this. Intruder Alert! Lol.

He then basically replied to my blog/ explained stuff in further detail. At the end he proposed trying again and maybe going slowly. I accepted because I’m a softy and because I honestly think he’s a great guy. I think we have something but I can really only speak for my feelings. As we all know the other party may not feel the same.

As for me, I have toned my feelings way down and is just taking it slow. I don’t want to rush into anything because I’m really scared of getting hurt again. This time I’m just way more relaxed. I realize that this is out of my control and as always in a relationship you only know how you feel.

So that’s what’s happening, I’ll keep you posted on my status lol. Playing it totally aloof and totally by ear lol

Being in a relationship is hard.

Golden Rule: Maybe send the “I miss you” text sometimes, you never know what comes of it.

Tips for guys: If you think a girl is worth a second chance, give it to her.

Go With The Flow (Yes I’m a Hippie Now)

Hello Ladies!

I know the question on all your minds…. When is Game Of Thrones coming back? Well the answer is next year sometime so booooo! But what can we do? Nothing right? Thus we go with the flow. That’s what I’m doing in this new and interesting relationship that I’m in with country music start Brad Paisley. JK, just his nickname.

Nice Segue huh? I know thanks.

Things are going smoothly so far, at least from my perspective. Everything he does is super cute to me, but that’s what being a girl is like for the first  few months. We think everything they do is awesome lol. We see each other often which I like, IDK what he’s feeling though as I can get quite annoying which you all know. Honestly no complaints!

I’m literally just going with the flow because what else am I suppose to do right? I literally have that song “Meant To Be” by Bebe Rexha on replay. If its meant to be it’ll be……I really do like him though and can’t wait to see where it goes. Hoping its going somewhere awesome. I’m totally cool, as cool as a cucumber… in the fridge. Currently still not GF BF and that’s cool. No anxiety at all about that lol.

Remember the 50’s when you’d meet a guy in the park. Walk with him in the park 2 times, have Ice Tea on the porch twice,  he’d meet your parents and that was it. Your married! No you don’t remember it? Yeah me either I was born like 4 decades after but Grandma always did say times were more simple then.  They would call your guy your “gentleman caller” back then. So classy lol. Am I in the wrong decade?

Anyways, Optimism lol. Last time I was this optimistic was the winter Olympics and it paid off. TEAM CANADA for the win!

Golden Rule: Just go with the flow and chillout.

Tips for Guys: Keep being transparent, chicks dig it.

 

 

Just One Of Those Days

Is it me, or do you have those days where you second guess yourself and everything around you. Those days when you wonder if you’re worthy of love. Those days when you wonder how there are millions of people in the world who have found love and you haven’t. Like is it me? Am I just a complete Alien with Alien type tendencies. Or just like wonder, what or who you have to be to convince someone that you are worth loving. I know it sounds so introspective and emo, but am I the only one that wonders?

Maybe I should write a survey and pass it around. The title would be “Whats wrong with me?”. Multiple choice because I would never want people to write their own answers in. You might end up with way more than you bargain for. I would hand it out only to my close family and friends. Just to gather some intel. My friends are pretty honest, so I’d prepare for the worst lol.

Anyway, rant over. Gonna go have some ice cream, that always makes me feel better. I mean ice cream and love are the same thing right?

Am I Crazy?

Hi Ladies! Phew its been a dizzying few weeks for me. I broke up with someone and felt like crap for doing it, but it honestly was for the best. I thought I was going to spend the summer alone and take a dating break as per usual. I literally always say that.

Then I decided, why should I spend the summer alone? or stop trying? Never give up right? Who wants to be single right after a close friend’s wedding. All I can think abut now is trying to find my other half. Trying to find that person everything it easy with, a relationship where we don’t have to try so hard. You Know?

So I signed back up for a few dating sites. Literally within a day or two, I got a rather lengthy but sweet message from a stranger at this point. I was chatting with a few other guys but this particular guy and I hit it off. Lets call him Brad Paisley. And yes its because he loves Brad Paisley lol.

Its literally been really great! Like he makes me laugh, we like all the same things. (except for Brad Paisley but I can see him growing on me lol) We are just like meshing really well, like too well….its honestly scaring me a little bit. Like I have a good feeling about this one but I don’t want to jinx it. Or mess it up. I just want everything to happen the way its suppose to happen.

Our first date was shall I say magical? I won’t bore you with the details but it did include a romantic walk along the boardwalk and Ice-Cream lol. Our connection is palpable, at least for me it is. He says he feels it too, its almost electric. I literally want to see him and like touch him all the time. Are we making you want to throw up yet?

We aren’t like BF & GF or anything yet, but we are exclusive… so that’s a good sign. right?

Idk Am I crazy? Does this happen this quick?

Golden Rule: When something special comes along, you know right away. I thought this was a myth but it’s true.

Tips For Guys: Definitely incorporate a nice walk along the nearest boardwalk, its super romantic.  Trust me, she’ll be eating out of the palm of your hands lol.