Scratch that…..he dumped me.

Brad Paisley just dumped me. He said that he didn’t think that we had the spark that he required for someone to spend the rest of his life with.

The End and I’m Single Again.

Isn’t Life Grand.

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Go With The Flow (Yes I’m a Hippie Now)

Hello Ladies!

I know the question on all your minds…. When is Game Of Thrones coming back? Well the answer is next year sometime so booooo! But what can we do? Nothing right? Thus we go with the flow. That’s what I’m doing in this new and interesting relationship that I’m in with country music start Brad Paisley. JK, just his nickname.

Nice Segue huh? I know thanks.

Things are going smoothly so far, at least from my perspective. Everything he does is super cute to me, but that’s what being a girl is like for the first  few months. We think everything they do is awesome lol. We see each other often which I like, IDK what he’s feeling though as I can get quite annoying which you all know. Honestly no complaints!

I’m literally just going with the flow because what else am I suppose to do right? I literally have that song “Meant To Be” by Bebe Rexha on replay. If its meant to be it’ll be……I really do like him though and can’t wait to see where it goes. Hoping its going somewhere awesome. I’m totally cool, as cool as a cucumber… in the fridge. Currently still not GF BF and that’s cool. No anxiety at all about that lol.

Remember the 50’s when you’d meet a guy in the park. Walk with him in the park 2 times, have Ice Tea on the porch twice,  he’d meet your parents and that was it. Your married! No you don’t remember it? Yeah me either I was born like 4 decades after but Grandma always did say times were more simple then.  They would call your guy your “gentleman caller” back then. So classy lol. Am I in the wrong decade?

Anyways, Optimism lol. Last time I was this optimistic was the winter Olympics and it paid off. TEAM CANADA for the win!

Golden Rule: Just go with the flow and chillout.

Tips for Guys: Keep being transparent, chicks dig it.

 

 

Just One Of Those Days

Is it me, or do you have those days where you second guess yourself and everything around you. Those days when you wonder if you’re worthy of love. Those days when you wonder how there are millions of people in the world who have found love and you haven’t. Like is it me? Am I just a complete Alien with Alien type tendencies. Or just like wonder, what or who you have to be to convince someone that you are worth loving. I know it sounds so introspective and emo, but am I the only one that wonders?

Maybe I should write a survey and pass it around. The title would be “Whats wrong with me?”. Multiple choice because I would never want people to write their own answers in. You might end up with way more than you bargain for. I would hand it out only to my close family and friends. Just to gather some intel. My friends are pretty honest, so I’d prepare for the worst lol.

Anyway, rant over. Gonna go have some ice cream, that always makes me feel better. I mean ice cream and love are the same thing right?

Am I Crazy?

Hi Ladies! Phew its been a dizzying few weeks for me. I broke up with someone and felt like crap for doing it, but it honestly was for the best. I thought I was going to spend the summer alone and take a dating break as per usual. I literally always say that.

Then I decided, why should I spend the summer alone? or stop trying? Never give up right? Who wants to be single right after a close friend’s wedding. All I can think abut now is trying to find my other half. Trying to find that person everything it easy with, a relationship where we don’t have to try so hard. You Know?

So I signed back up for a few dating sites. Literally within a day or two, I got a rather lengthy but sweet message from a stranger at this point. I was chatting with a few other guys but this particular guy and I hit it off. Lets call him Brad Paisley. And yes its because he loves Brad Paisley lol.

Its literally been really great! Like he makes me laugh, we like all the same things. (except for Brad Paisley but I can see him growing on me lol) We are just like meshing really well, like too well….its honestly scaring me a little bit. Like I have a good feeling about this one but I don’t want to jinx it. Or mess it up. I just want everything to happen the way its suppose to happen.

Our first date was shall I say magical? I won’t bore you with the details but it did include a romantic walk along the boardwalk and Ice-Cream lol. Our connection is palpable, at least for me it is. He says he feels it too, its almost electric. I literally want to see him and like touch him all the time. Are we making you want to throw up yet?

We aren’t like BF & GF or anything yet, but we are exclusive… so that’s a good sign. right?

Idk Am I crazy? Does this happen this quick?

Golden Rule: When something special comes along, you know right away. I thought this was a myth but it’s true.

Tips For Guys: Definitely incorporate a nice walk along the nearest boardwalk, its super romantic.  Trust me, she’ll be eating out of the palm of your hands lol.

Chemistry

Chemistry is a mysterious beast. I super hate the fact that the one person I have the most chemistry with and the most amazing sex with, just isn’t “The Guy”.  Having the perfect chemistry with someone isn’t something you can fake or force trust me  I have tried. I am now aware that the way works is that you can’t have it all. You know that perfect list that you make with the perfect guy. Sorry to tell you honey, but he just isn’t out there. Instead you should just have a list of absolutes. Things you absolutely cannot stand and will not stand for.

My List Of Absolutes

  1. I refuse to be disrespected.
  2. I refuse to be treated like my thoughts or decisions don’t matter.
  3. I refuse to be with someone who doesn’t make me laugh
  4. I refuse to be with someone who thinks Sci-Fi is dumb. ( I just Can’t. this should be number one)
  5. I refuse to be with someone whom I don’t have chemistry with.

Will I find this Unicorn of a man. Nope I don’t think so, but lets see how my search goes. I feel like I have aged twice as fast going through these relationships and learning what I do and don`t want.

Once again I feel like giving up and maybe chilling out for the summer.

Golden Rule: Don`t compromise on your chemistry.

Rules for Guys: Try not to do anything on my absolutes list.

I’m Single Again and It Sucks

Unlike my other horror dating stories or my usual break ups, this one was my call. Though tongue ring really tried and spent a lot of time with me, i just felt something wasn’t quite right. I just thought we didn’t have enough in common and I really didn’t want to waste both our times.

Even though I pulled the plug, I still feel like shit. I literally cried one whole weekend day and am now in a very mopey mood. I just hate the thought of hurting someone. I feel bad that maybe tongue ring thought we had something and I just didn’t. Is this all my fault? Am I the weird one? Am I just not good at relationships? I don’t know. All I know is that everyone around me is magically falling in-love and getting married and I’m not.

Honestly my threshold for worry is at an all time high about being alone forever. When I worry this much I usually just roll over and take a nap. This  time I’m going to to try and remove myself from all the social pressures. If I’m going to be single forever I just am. We don’t know what life has in store and honestly I don’t care. I just don’t want to worry anymore or force anything.

I know that every time one of my friends post a cute couply photo this summer I’m going to feel it. Every time one of my friends get engaged or talk about getting engaged I’m going to feel it. I’m going to feel lonely as shit. I already am, it almost makes me regret my decision but why be with someone when you aren’t 100% feeling it, when they could be spending that time with they’re Mrs. Right.

So what will I do all summer, while everyone is off with they’re other halves? Work on me, catch up on all things TV, learn how to knit, go to the gym? I don’t know, I have a long winding single summer ahead of me. The possibilities are endless lol.

Side note; If Meghan can find her prince at 36, why can’t I? Maybe the lucky number is 36. After that I will be royally screwed. Also I’m no where close to 36 ya’ll so calm down.

Golden Rule: I Suck.

Tips for Guys: I Suck.

She’s So Quiet

So this one isn’t about being single necessarily but I guess its kind of connected. I just gotta rant for a second. So I guess some might describe me as an introvert because I’m not the loudest person in the room. I like people and can make friends pretty easy but if i’m in a room with people who enjoy attention, I let them have it. In my mind I feel like if attention is what you need to feel relevant, then go for it. What I do hate though is when they label me as quiet when I never have a chance to speak. I literally can’t get a word in and then they are like “oh she is just so quiet”. I have literally been labelled as the quiet or soft spoken person my entire life and each time it shocks me a bit. I literally think ” I am?” I thought I was speaking at a relevant interval.

Its just like these days there is this culture of everyone speaking up  and speaking over everyone else. I mean like fully interrupting and shit just to seem smart or to show that you are working harder or something. Like I don’t interrupt people because its hella rude. In a work setting or social setting I speak at a decent amount but danggg. Then it seems like you aren’t smart enough or working as hard because you literally never get a chance to speak.

Same in my relationships. I hate confrontation and find it super hard to willingly butt heads with my partner. I tell them when I am not happy and not cool with stuff but in no way am I going to do it public or even do it in a confrontational or condescending tone. And that’s just because its not how I would want to be treated.

It just sucks that you get under estimated when you aren’t loud and obnoxious. That’s cool though because you know your own potential and don’t need confirmation from anyone. You know all the work you put in, real work not fake work. You know what you are doing is legit and will pay off. I don’t work for people or to impress people. I work for myself, to make my own money and to improve myself.

I have great big dreams and me the “soft spoken and quiet” one intends to achieve every single one of them.

Golden Rule: You don’t have put anyone down to feel better about yourself. Have a conversation with people don’t speak over them.

Tips for dudes: Respect a girl who talks to you with respect and reciprocate that.

Upcoming Nuptials & Adulting

Hi Ladies! My  friend’s wedding is exactly 20 days away and I’m freaking out. Its a very big and eventful day. Also one of my closest friends will be someone’s wife soon. I’m going to have to call her Mrs. The next big event for her will be having a baby. This is crazy ya’ll.

Also as I’m getting older or maturing, I’m like seriously figuring people out. The best thing about getting older is getting wiser. Like you start to know who are your real friends and who aren’t. You get to the phase where you don’t care what people do because they always acts in they’re own best interest. Time to accept friendships that have deteriorated and to work on the people who really show you they care. You start to figure out yourself and start to actually like yourself which is so important.

I like me and I know I need some improvements but I’m working on them. Looking for that special person who likes me as much as I do. Tongue ring is still present but we are taking it slow and I’m hoping that its going in a positive direction.

Golden Rule: Being an adult is hard.

Tips For Dudes: Encourage your girl to figure herself out, she’ll help you figure stuff out too don’t worry.

Status Confirmed

Happy Spring Ladies!

There has been a few developments since the last time we chatted lol. Tongue Ring made it official and has confirmed that we are indeed in a relationship. He asked me to be his GF, so it doesn’t get more official than that. I figure that maybe he didn’t want to label the relationship too quickly because past relationships were probably messed up.

In other news, we sealed the deal if you know what I mean. (wink wink). Lets just say the tongue ring was definitely an asset. Oh please date a guy with a tongue ring before you settle down if you have the chance LOL. Which most people don’t because they are already married and I am way behind the game. OMG this is going to a dark place all of a sudden.

Besides that everything is pretty normal. Went to Niagara Falls for a family getaway which was nice. I am having a late-twenties crisis which is also normal. I am dating someone again after giving up so many times in the past. Typical late-twenties stuff. Is everyone still getting married around me? YUP.

Its now random people on FB that I knew when I was like 15 and man does it suck. People who I thought would never get married…. so you know, that’s fun. I have been actively trying not to compare my life to others though, so lets see how that goes.

Golden Rule: Don’t Compare Yourself to Others!

Tips for Dudes: Make your girl knows you’re official, just so she has some peace of mind.

No Take Backs

Hey Guys, just feel like ranting today. I have sadly figured out the hard way that there are “No Take Backs” in relationships. Whatever you say or do; it’s out there and it just sticks. I have ruined a lot of relationships because of my actions and a lot of relationships were ruined by things guys have said or done to me. Right now I feel like shit and the reason is a guy. Not sure if its my fault or his but I feel like shit. Relationships are hard, especially if they are one sided.

Sometimes I think what I’m looking for just doesn’t exist anymore. I’m just looking for that thing that people write about or sing about. That thing that some of our parents had. That thing where you wanted to share your life with someone. I guess I just haven’t been fortunate enough to find it.

Will I keep looking? Honestly not sure…. trying to find something that doesn’t exist, doesn’t really make sense.

Update on Tongue-ring: We are still not a couple which I was reminded of yesterday. We are still hanging and I’m just going with the flow at this point.

No golden rule this week. If you have any advice for me, I will take it because I am out of ideas LOL.

Also can you believe what Tristan Thompson did to Khloe?! I mean if she can get cheated on, why am I even trying. That guy’s crazy. When will guys learn? Do they ever regret anything?

Rant Over.

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