What A Year 2020 Will Be

Ladies! Sound the alarm, my blog has been infiltrated. Hide your wives, hide your children, JK. No but seriously I think our past lovers have come back to haunt us or furious attempted lovers. Where do I start? With the juicy information? Nope!

Happy New Year you filthy animals! It’s 2020, we are getting dangerously close to cyborgs and hover boards. Over the holidays Brad and I took a massive road trip to Maine to visit my sister. We had a lovely picturesque snowy Christmas there. Then we drove through upstate NY on our way back. This trip really brought us closer together and pointed out some key information to me about our relationship. The most important one is that we can drive in a car together for 6 hours with only one break without wanting to kill each other. Okay there was maybe one argument but scouts honor that was it.

My sister sure approved of him with her closing statement being “He’s Tall.” She made him reach all the high cupboards and take down things she hadn’t seen for years. Well you get it, Christmas was mint.

On to New Years. We went to one of Brad’s family friends house for a party. It was a lot of games, food, drinks and really loud people. Brad and I had our midnight smooch but sadly didn’t get to seal the deal that night. (Wink)

Am I being way more raunchy? Idk, new year, new……. writing style?

As for the drama, I won’t give anyone the satisfaction of going into detail but basically I think someone out there would like for Brad and I to part ways. To what end, I have no clue.

My last blog was a bit emotionally raw and true. I want you all to know that relationships, even really good ones such as mine, have their low points. Brad and I did have an epic fight surrounding the subject of my last blog. (If you wanna know so bad, go read it!)

We have since mended and put the past behind us because we know who we are and what we have. We know we are building a future and we also know that we aren’t perfect! I love my hunny and plan to stick with him through the ups and downs. I won’t pull a Hillary but he knows way better than to pull a Bill.

No golden rule on this one. I’m just sending all my readers good vibes and wishing you all the very best for your new year!

We Are Not Perfect

Hi Ladies,

I just wanted to let you guys know that no relationship is perfect. Brad and I have been having this on-going issue, involving another girl outside of our relationship. Now when I met Brad he came encompassed with all these young, female (some single, some not) friends. Like most girls who start a new relationship I was not comfortable.

Brad has made profound improvements in this regard. He really tries to stay clear of anything that makes me uncomfortable or any interactions that he knows will make me feel not great. However, lol. One still remains.

There is a particular friend whom we have had controversies with concerning some interactions. Stuff that any girl would feel weird about or not appreciate. The problem is that with this particular human, Brad doesn’t really agree that some things were inappropriate.

When he is with this particular individual something else happens. His phone is a deadzone lol. So say I’m chatting away, just telling him usual stuff, expecting a response. Maybe not right away but like within a reasonable time. I’ll either get no response or like weird half answers. So Ofcourse I didn’t feel great about that. And I would notice it most with this particular girl. Like I would just feel the distance.

I have discussed this with Brad and since then have seen major improvements. He has had to actively try to stay attentive when this person is around. Which makes me feel eeeeeeeek. He says it’s because they don’t get to see each other that much so when they do, they have lots to say. I also basically just need to accept this as I do get quite upset every time it happens. Shouldn’t I be use to this by now?

In the most recent incident she asked Brad something that had somewhat to do with me. And like it just feels like my feelings were not considered you know. It just felt like this thing was only about her. And it sucked. After the fact Brad and I discussed but there is like no going back on this thing. Also I would think if it was between me being upset and her being upset. Mine would be more crucial or important but I felt like that wasn’t the case.

This is the one thing that hasn’t really changed much in almost two years. There is no shaking her. And I feel terrible for being that girlfriend that steps in the way of friendships. My fear is that there may be something more than friendship happening there but Brad vehemently disagrees. I feel like freakin Darth Vader every time I bring it up.

Because Ofcourse she’s like a happy little fairy girl. Who doesn’t like that right? While I’m an overthinking, intellectual adult who still allows a fairy girl to make me feel like shit.

Naturally in these scenarios where someone else has your boyfriends attention, you start to over analyze and compare. And comparison is never good. I compact every interaction they have ever had into a little box. And every time she’s brought up, I open this little box and all the uncomfortable feelings seep out. Kinda like in that movie the ring where like that dead girls hair just like comes out of no where and stifles you. Super similar to that.

Brad Ofcourse hates that I do this. Because he literally doesn’t remember anything that has happened with this person past last Tuesday. Is that like a guy thing?

So anyway, this is my dilemma. This problem is not going anywhere as he has to see this person on a semi-regular basis. Some aspects of this situation does make me feel insecure. The usual questions. Am I not interesting enough? Not pretty enough? Not fairy like enough?

Because intrinsically that’s what happens. I don’t feel like enough. I should be so enough that no other human can do this. As no other human does this to me in regards to Brad. But that’s just it. Brad and I are different and see things differently.

So then I’ll think like maybe I’m just being too sensitive or maybe a bit over critical. But then I bring up specific scenarios with my friends and even my MOM. And my mom would say, “hmmmmm something doesn’t seem right with this girl.”

So that’s the dilemma. I have no advice this week but I sure need some.

Things That Girls Do….

Hi Ladies,

So this weekend was quite interesting.

Friday;

Absolutely wonderful. Work sucked but then after I got to see Brad and we ordered pizza and we had amazing, passionate sex. I felt so close to him, physically and emotionally. I love when we connect like that, it literally re-affirms that he is this amazing human and I am so happy he’s all mine.

Saturday;

On this particular Saturday Brad had to work until 4 PM, when he normally works  until like 1 PM. I was pretty bummed on his behalf because I would hate to have to work my whole Saturday away. So when he’s at work, he gets busy and of course being busy = not much attention. Me being an attention hoarder has had to get use to that overtime. I am fairly aware that I require more attention than most. I’m working on that lol.

So at times when he’s at work and not paying attention to me or at least less than the usual amount. Or even texting me back but not like anything engaging, it usually has to do with his company at work. Brad works in a female dominated field and much of his co-workers are women. I am sure I have mentioned this before lol. Since I have been in a relationship for a year; I would like to think that I have matured, have become less jealous and is just generally all around a bigger person. I will try to describe this situation with some sophistication.

I have noticed over the year, that when Brad is working with one particular co-worker is simultaneously when his attention is less engaging. We have had chats about this co-worker and she seems to be a subject of contention in our relationship. Brad has known this girl for a long time and when they get together they have tons to catch up on and talk about. They have a lot in common and rarely get to work together. They share relationship problems and give each other advice and things of that nature. In this scenario, is it fair for me to be jealous or dismayed that when he works with her he is simply having more fun that other nights and that leads to me not getting the standard attention that I’m use to?

Needless to say, we got in a fight about this. The fight was mainly because I didn’t know he was working with her but I did notice him being disengaged. Then when I found out that coincidentally he was working with this lassie, I became enraged. Am I insecure? Maybe… she’s been in his  life a long time, they have a lot in common and she’s blonde.

So we got into a fight right before we had to go to a backyard movie night planned by one of my friends. We tried to resolve it before we went and we did come to a solution. The solution is that I need to be more understanding that on these particular instances I will most likely get less attention, and that Brad will actively make an effort to give me the same level of attention.

We went to the party, had a good time and left.

Sunday;

Woke up together, I was still having fight flashbacks. So, do all girls do that thing where they re play every bit of a fight in their head, even though the argument is over and it should have been resolved?  I literally replayed everything that was said a million times and started feeling crappy about it all over again. I then started feeling insecure, wondering why this particular person is able to engulf so much of Brad’s attention. In the end I just needed a girls day. I hung out with one of my friends and I just felt better after stepping away from the situation.

I’m in love with Brad and as of right now, he’s not only my boyfriend, he’s pretty much one of my best friends. I tell him everything. I depend on him for guidance, company and affection. But is that too much? I’ve  decided to just reign it in for a while. I am working on my attention issue. I hate being jealous or feeling like I’m sharing him at any point but I have to be rational. I have to understand that he really likes this girl as a friend and that their interaction is not inappropriate in any way.

I have to be mature about this.

P.S. When this girl confesses her undying love for him for always being such a good friend, I will definitely let you guys know.

Golden Rule: If your significant other is giving you less attention at times, try to understand it.

Tips For Guys: Give your girl attention. Trust me, it will make her a happy clam.

 

Summer Summer Summer Time.

Hi Ladies!

I know I haven’t been writing much lately and that’s not good! Life is definitely getting in the way of my juicy relationship stories.

What’s been going on with Brad and I, you ask? He has been getting to know the family. He has been to several family events and he is now very familiar with members of my clan. They like him too but is he getting overwhelmed? Yes. Can he remember everyone’s names? Nope, but that’s natural. To be honest he’s only met less than a quarter of my family. I’m easing him in slowly. (That’s what she said)

We officially had a talk with my mom about buying a house together. She was pretty chill about the talk but I can tell she is melting inside like butter in a microwave. She is scared for her baby girl to leave her, live with a man and for me to be on my own. She’s also scared to be on her own. Who can blame her? These are all completely rational fears.

I’ll keep you posted on how and when buying a house with Brad goes. Who knew we would get here? Time sure flies when you are dating a committed, loving man. Remember in my earlier blogs when I thought this wouldn’t happen? Yeah me too. He’s not perfect but I love his imperfections. I’ll talk about those in another post. Lol.

Ladies, there is Hope yet.

Being single is still hard I’m sure, but I’m not single anymore. I don’t wanna jinx it though.

Golden Rule: If you want to buy a house with your lover, try to not already buy one with your parent.

Tips for guys: Commitment is everything. Girls love a guy who can commit.

Love Plant

Hi Ladies!

So Valentine’s Day just passed and I actually had a valentine for once! We went for dinner and exchanged gifts. And there were candles involved. All very romantic and certainly made me feel loved.

I was gifted a love plant. A plant that I’m tasked with keeping alive as it’s a representation of our love. No pressure or anything. I’ll have to do my very best, it might be hard as I don’t have a green thumb or a green anything.

I had a wonderful night with my babe but sometimes I wonder…. how do we measure love? Remember that song by Michael Bolton? “When a man loves a woman” Que wind machine. Like I grew up thinking love was exactly like Michael Bolton said. When a man loves you, he’ll do anything for you. He’ll respect you, he’ll try to never hurt you. When a woman loves a man it’s exactly the same. She respects him and tries to never hurt him.

I hope love never changes. I want to feel like Michael Bolton is following me and Brad around everywhere we go. I want that old school love. I want love that is true and committed.

No golden rules tonight or tips. Just love each other. Let’s not let love change or mutate. Let’s keep it simple.

Six Months In Our Love Bubble

Hi Ladies! I’ve been Brad’s girl for six whole months. That’s long for me lol. I’m pretty excited about it and I’m quite happy in my relationship which is no small matter. We celebrated by going out for dinner and me being the romantic I am, stole an idea from pinterest. So I know he likes Toblerone Chocolates (because I had some in my room and he ate half the box lol), so I put a bunch in a mason jar with a sweet note and a bow on top. OMG guys, it was so cute! I’m super impressed with myself. (pats self on back) I know he liked it or at least he certainly liked the Toblerones.

I’m happy to say I’ve grown in this relationship into a more secure me. I am happy that nothing has changed since the beginning of the relationship other than the fact that we are slowly morphing into the same person. We definitely have a deeper connection now but its still as fun as the beginning. Are we still in the honeymoon phase? Maybe?!

I also just wanted to add how incredible our sex has been. I think the longer we are together the more we know each other’s desires. We definitely know what we both like and maximize on those things. All I can say is “WOW!”. I find him sexier than ever now and is still pretty enamored with him.

Alright I’ll stop gushing! I just wanted to let ya’ll know we are six months deep lol.

P.S. Super excited for Christmas!

Golden Rule: When you are in love, time flies fast! Enjoy every moment of it.

Tips for Guys: Be the guy that a girl can fall in love with. It’s worth it!

 

Don`t F*** this Up!

Hi Ladies,

Can I be Frank with you guys? I’m in love, for the first time in a long time and can I just say it feels great. I feel like Mary Poppins floating off with her Umbrella. I feel like Cady Heron when she finally got with Aaron Samuels at the end of mean girls. You get it right? I’m Rose  pre-Jack floating off into the ocean. Anyway, yeah you get it.

So the problem I’m having is seriously trying not to mess this up lol. I want to show him all of me, including my crazy and my anxiety. But is it too much? Well if you’ve been a reader of my blog for the past two years, you know that I really value my relationships and that I’m a sweety. An anxious ovethinking sweety but a sweety non the less.

I’m constantly trying to improve me and work out my kinks on my own. I know I’m not perfect and like all girls, we have our flaws. We have things that will annoy the crap out of our significant others and that’s just the way it is. I am however trying to make myself the best girl I can be. I’m always trying to improve on who I am at work, within my family relationships and even just as a human on earth. But especially in my personal relationship, I try to be the best girlfriend all the time.

I’m dating a very confident and secure person. So I’m always trying to be the same except my anxiety gets in the way lol. I guess I have to figure out that I’m allowed to be vulnerable with him and I need to work on being comfortable with it. I also want him to be comfortable being vulnerable with me.

What can I say? I’m still a work in progress. I still have a lot to learn about love and about really sharing myself with another.

Golden Rule: Don’t F*** up a great relationship and work on being okay with your vulnerability.

Tips For Guys: Don’t F*** up a great relationship!

Girl Angst

Hi Ladies! How goes it? How was Halloween?! I had a pretty good Halloween, I spent it with Brad. We set up his house all spooky and giggled at the disdain on toddlers faces when they figured out they’d have to brave our ghoulish setup in order to receive their candy. Some of the faces were just priceless. We even had an over-enthusiastic toddler yell PUMPKIN!! Like really loud at one of our pumpkins. It was hilarious! We ordered pizza and watched the office, it was a pretty near perfect night.

So we are 5 months into our relationship and like many women at this point, I’m feeling some angst. I call it girl angst or “gangst” for short lol. At this point, Brad knows me inside and out. He knows I’m a whiner, he knows I mildly snore when I sleep (emphasis on MILDLY), he knows I get really cranky when I don’t eat and he knows I’m a cuddle bug. Does he like these things? I hope so! It’s at the point when he pretty much knows all there is to know about me and now I start to wonder if he likes any of it. Am I the only one who thinks about this?

I mean at this point, I know quite a lot about him as well. I know most of his habits and vices. I think they are all cute or at least manageable lol. There hasn’t been anything that I would run to the hills for. But as a girl, I am still enamored by him and is still interested to know more. As I am not a guy….. I don’t know what they are thinking. I mean I could always just ask, but where’s the fun in that? lol. Just kidding, I do try to be very open with Brad about what I’m feeling and he is very keen on reciprocating or help me deal with it.

Most likely its nothing and they are just following the natural ebs and flows of our relationship. But what do I do? I overthink and write blogs about my angst! Most of the time to be completely honest, I don’t know where all this angst comes from. All I know is it sucks and I hate overthinking.

In the end, I have to remember that I can’t control anything having to do with matters of the heart and that everything happens for a reason. Wherever this relationship takes me, I’m thankful.

Please listen to Ariana Grande’s song “Thank You, Next”. It’s pretty darn good and is pretty relatable to like every girl out there.

Also, check out our pumpkin creations below. I carved a goofy pumpkin and Brad carved a poop emoji. LOL PUMPKIN!!

Golden Rule: Try to chill out, keep the angst at bay.

Tips For Guys: Girls have angst, don’t worry we try to keep it to ourselves for the most part.

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Hardest Lessons Learned

Hi Ladies, I’m just going to go on a little “why being an adult is hard” rant. Honestly the hardest lessons learned is just how much people suck…. am I right?

I don’t even think I hold people to that high of a standard. I give everyone their space, I am not a very constrictive person. Plans change and I’m cool. You want to cancel plans once or twice and I’m still cool. You don’t talk to me for 2 weeks, no big deal. We can still be Dion and Cher after those things occur. (Clueless Reference, if you haven’t seen that movie, GO watch it!)

But the minute a person’s actions show that they blatantly don’t give a shit about me as a person, that’s when I feel let down. This is especially hard when it’s a person that you’d pride yourself on going out of your way to support and help. Am I the only adult who still expects to have friends in their late 20’s? I just might be.  Let me know how your friendships are going below.

Being an Adult is hard because people forget that after doing a shitty thing to one person or persons, they can still say sorry.

In other news, Brad and I are doing great! We had our first Halloween Party outing and was the cutest Clarke Kent and Lois Lane for miles around. Atleast I thought soooo!

Golden Rule: Try to treat your friends a little better, especially now that you are a busy adult. Showing that you can still make time for them is important.

Tips For Guys:  Girls like couples costumes, so please oblige us! lol.

 

 

 

 

Our First Vacation

Hi Ladies!

Its actually been a while and of course I have to get you caught up on what’s happening. Where have I been… you may ask. Why I was away with my BF. We went on a little getaway to Montreal and Ottawa. Those are Canadian cities for all my international readers. They were lovely cities and we had so much fun. We also spent ALOT of money, but that’s for a whole other blog lol.

Our first stop was Montreal where we stayed for 4 days 3 nights. The most amazing thing about that city is the food. Really good food….. and we all know, that’s pretty much all it takes to make a good vacation. We went site seeing and did basic touristy stuff but of course doing all that stuff with Brad was super fun. Sure we got lost sometimes, frustrated and mad but we never really got mad at each other which was great. We just like sarcasm’d each other to death.

After Montreal we hit up Ottawa, Canada’s capital. I was hoping to get a glance of our prime minister but we just got a glance of his house instead or where his house should be. Can we say “Privacy Trees”. We barely saw anything. Anyway in this fair city we explored Parliament Hill and went for long walk along rivers and such. We ate at one of the fanciest restaurants I have ever been to in my  whole middle classed life. I wanted to eat everything on the menu but sadly couldn’t afford it. We spent 3 days in Ottawa and polished off our trip by going to a Cold War Bunker 30 minutes outside of Ottawa. It was very cool but also quite chilling.

Did I mention that we drove the whole way. Yup! Around 5 hours each way. Can you believe we didn’t kill each other?! We still care about each other and I’m happier now than ever that I met him. What a guy! lol. Alright I’m done gushing. Below I’ve attached a picture of our Parliament building, just so you can also experience the beauty and wonder that is Ottawa.

Golden Rule: Take a trip with Bae, you’ll learn things about each other.

Tips For Guys: Have a lot of Vacation sex with your girl. She’ll appreciate it when she gets back to her boring mundane life. lol

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