Chemistry is a mysterious beast. I super hate the fact that the one person I have the most chemistry with and the most amazing sex with, just isn’t “The Guy”. Having the perfect chemistry with someone isn’t something you can fake or force trust me I have tried. I am now aware that the way works is that you can’t have it all. You know that perfect list that you make with the perfect guy. Sorry to tell you honey, but he just isn’t out there. Instead you should just have a list of absolutes. Things you absolutely cannot stand and will not stand for.
My List Of Absolutes
I refuse to be disrespected.
I refuse to be treated like my thoughts or decisions don’t matter.
I refuse to be with someone who doesn’t make me laugh
I refuse to be with someone who thinks Sci-Fi is dumb. ( I just Can’t. this should be number one)
I refuse to be with someone whom I don’t have chemistry with.
Will I find this Unicorn of a man. Nope I don’t think so, but lets see how my search goes. I feel like I have aged twice as fast going through these relationships and learning what I do and don`t want.
Once again I feel like giving up and maybe chilling out for the summer.
Golden Rule: Don`t compromise on your chemistry.
Rules for Guys: Try not to do anything on my absolutes list.
Unlike my other horror dating stories or my usual break ups, this one was my call. Though tongue ring really tried and spent a lot of time with me, i just felt something wasn’t quite right. I just thought we didn’t have enough in common and I really didn’t want to waste both our times.
Even though I pulled the plug, I still feel like shit. I literally cried one whole weekend day and am now in a very mopey mood. I just hate the thought of hurting someone. I feel bad that maybe tongue ring thought we had something and I just didn’t. Is this all my fault? Am I the weird one? Am I just not good at relationships? I don’t know. All I know is that everyone around me is magically falling in-love and getting married and I’m not.
Honestly my threshold for worry is at an all time high about being alone forever. When I worry this much I usually just roll over and take a nap. This time I’m going to to try and remove myself from all the social pressures. If I’m going to be single forever I just am. We don’t know what life has in store and honestly I don’t care. I just don’t want to worry anymore or force anything.
I know that every time one of my friends post a cute couply photo this summer I’m going to feel it. Every time one of my friends get engaged or talk about getting engaged I’m going to feel it. I’m going to feel lonely as shit. I already am, it almost makes me regret my decision but why be with someone when you aren’t 100% feeling it, when they could be spending that time with they’re Mrs. Right.
So what will I do all summer, while everyone is off with they’re other halves? Work on me, catch up on all things TV, learn how to knit, go to the gym? I don’t know, I have a long winding single summer ahead of me. The possibilities are endless lol.
Side note; If Meghan can find her prince at 36, why can’t I? Maybe the lucky number is 36. After that I will be royally screwed. Also I’m no where close to 36 ya’ll so calm down.
So this one isn’t about being single necessarily but I guess its kind of connected. I just gotta rant for a second. So I guess some might describe me as an introvert because I’m not the loudest person in the room. I like people and can make friends pretty easy but if i’m in a room with people who enjoy attention, I let them have it. In my mind I feel like if attention is what you need to feel relevant, then go for it. What I do hate though is when they label me as quiet when I never have a chance to speak. I literally can’t get a word in and then they are like “oh she is just so quiet”. I have literally been labelled as the quiet or soft spoken person my entire life and each time it shocks me a bit. I literally think ” I am?” I thought I was speaking at a relevant interval.
Its just like these days there is this culture of everyone speaking up and speaking over everyone else. I mean like fully interrupting and shit just to seem smart or to show that you are working harder or something. Like I don’t interrupt people because its hella rude. In a work setting or social setting I speak at a decent amount but danggg. Then it seems like you aren’t smart enough or working as hard because you literally never get a chance to speak.
Same in my relationships. I hate confrontation and find it super hard to willingly butt heads with my partner. I tell them when I am not happy and not cool with stuff but in no way am I going to do it public or even do it in a confrontational or condescending tone. And that’s just because its not how I would want to be treated.
It just sucks that you get under estimated when you aren’t loud and obnoxious. That’s cool though because you know your own potential and don’t need confirmation from anyone. You know all the work you put in, real work not fake work. You know what you are doing is legit and will pay off. I don’t work for people or to impress people. I work for myself, to make my own money and to improve myself.
I have great big dreams and me the “soft spoken and quiet” one intends to achieve every single one of them.
Golden Rule: You don’t have put anyone down to feel better about yourself. Have a conversation with people don’t speak over them.
Tips for dudes: Respect a girl who talks to you with respect and reciprocate that.
Hi Ladies! My friend’s wedding is exactly 20 days away and I’m freaking out. Its a very big and eventful day. Also one of my closest friends will be someone’s wife soon. I’m going to have to call her Mrs. The next big event for her will be having a baby. This is crazy ya’ll.
Also as I’m getting older or maturing, I’m like seriously figuring people out. The best thing about getting older is getting wiser. Like you start to know who are your real friends and who aren’t. You get to the phase where you don’t care what people do because they always acts in they’re own best interest. Time to accept friendships that have deteriorated and to work on the people who really show you they care. You start to figure out yourself and start to actually like yourself which is so important.
I like me and I know I need some improvements but I’m working on them. Looking for that special person who likes me as much as I do. Tongue ring is still present but we are taking it slow and I’m hoping that its going in a positive direction.
Golden Rule: Being an adult is hard.
Tips For Dudes: Encourage your girl to figure herself out, she’ll help you figure stuff out too don’t worry.
There has been a few developments since the last time we chatted lol. Tongue Ring made it official and has confirmed that we are indeed in a relationship. He asked me to be his GF, so it doesn’t get more official than that. I figure that maybe he didn’t want to label the relationship too quickly because past relationships were probably messed up.
In other news, we sealed the deal if you know what I mean. (wink wink). Lets just say the tongue ring was definitely an asset. Oh please date a guy with a tongue ring before you settle down if you have the chance LOL. Which most people don’t because they are already married and I am way behind the game. OMG this is going to a dark place all of a sudden.
Besides that everything is pretty normal. Went to Niagara Falls for a family getaway which was nice. I am having a late-twenties crisis which is also normal. I am dating someone again after giving up so many times in the past. Typical late-twenties stuff. Is everyone still getting married around me? YUP.
Its now random people on FB that I knew when I was like 15 and man does it suck. People who I thought would never get married…. so you know, that’s fun. I have been actively trying not to compare my life to others though, so lets see how that goes.
Golden Rule: Don’t Compare Yourself to Others!
Tips for Dudes: Make your girl knows you’re official, just so she has some peace of mind.
Hey Guys, just feel like ranting today. I have sadly figured out the hard way that there are “No Take Backs” in relationships. Whatever you say or do; it’s out there and it just sticks. I have ruined a lot of relationships because of my actions and a lot of relationships were ruined by things guys have said or done to me. Right now I feel like shit and the reason is a guy. Not sure if its my fault or his but I feel like shit. Relationships are hard, especially if they are one sided.
Sometimes I think what I’m looking for just doesn’t exist anymore. I’m just looking for that thing that people write about or sing about. That thing that some of our parents had. That thing where you wanted to share your life with someone. I guess I just haven’t been fortunate enough to find it.
Will I keep looking? Honestly not sure…. trying to find something that doesn’t exist, doesn’t really make sense.
Update on Tongue-ring: We are still not a couple which I was reminded of yesterday. We are still hanging and I’m just going with the flow at this point.
No golden rule this week. If you have any advice for me, I will take it because I am out of ideas LOL.
Also can you believe what Tristan Thompson did to Khloe?! I mean if she can get cheated on, why am I even trying. That guy’s crazy. When will guys learn? Do they ever regret anything?
Hey Ladies, How was your East long weekend? Mine was fabulous as I went to Vegas!!! It was wonderful. I had a seriously good time and Vegas is beautiful. If you ever have a chance to go please do. I partied so much that I lost my voice on my way back from all the screaming. I also went to the Magic Mike Show and let me tell you, those boys are fiiinnneeee.
In other news, tongue ring and I are still hanging out. Its been a month now and he has made it pretty clear that we aren’t a couple or exclusive. Like I’ve asked and that’s what he said lol. So basically we are just hanging out. Man is dating hard, I don’t even know if we are dating. Its been pretty exclusive for me on my end but not really sure whats happening on his. I’ll see where this takes us, but I’m pretty confused. Guys usually try to lock me down if they like me.
Golden Rule: Go To Vegas!!!
Tips for Guys: Define a relationship before the girl you are seeing gets confused.
Hi Ladies! These top 5 date ideas are literally just the top 5 dates that I have been on. Needless to say, this is prompted by a recent awesome date lol. So last night, tongue-ring took me to an impromptu hockey game. My first hockey game ever. Can I just say…. Its freaking cool. If you get a chance to go, please do. Even if you are not into Hockey, its just such a fun environment. Also if you have gone millions of times before and think that I am super late then…well…whatever to you too lol.
How goes it with tongue-ring you ask? Well it’s going good. According to him we aren’t a couple yet so I have to just simmer down. Still haven’t experienced the full extent of the tongue ring yet, which means I’m being a very good girl. I’ll let you know if anything crazy happens.
So lets get to the dates shall we? I have been really into lists lately, right?
Drive In Movie Theater – OMG this was the funnest date ever. You are stuck in a car with a guy that you like while watching 2 kick ass movies. I highly recommend this date. Lots of talking, laughing and making out takes place.
Hockey Game – Yaaaaas Queens, It was fun as hell. I wish I could have drank more but I had work the next day. It actually almost makes me wanna pay attention to sports.
Casino Date – This was a super fun date because I don’t gamble ever and so it was just fun to let him teach me the ropes. Also they pump extra oxygen in there so you feel super alive, even if you are losing all your money.
Snowfall Bar Date – So this one was only fun because all we did was drink. Then it snowed and it was beautiful outside. He then took me home to meet his dogs. This was “dumped me two days before Christmas” dude. Not the nicest guy to me, but really special first date.
Mexican Restaurant – Have I ever mentioned how much I love food? Especially good Mexican food. I had only one date with this guy and wasn’t really feeling him. This date was awesome though because of the food. We literally only had nachos and sangria… but DANG was it good. If we had gotten enchiladas I probably would have married this guy. He missed out on not wanting to order more stuff lol.
I know these ideas aren’t ideal but if you have a chance to do any of them, please do!
I’m also heading to VEEEGGGAAASSS this weekend! I am so excited!!! Its going to be lit and who knows what stories I will come home with. Stay Tuned!
Golden Rule: Cherish all your dates, even when the guys turn out to be sucky. When you meet the right guy, you’ll know all the fun places to go.
Tips for Guys: Take your girl on fun dates, maybe places she hasn’t been before. She will definitely dig you a little more.
These are the 5 worst words to utter while online dating. As soon as you ask this question, the conversation either gets really weird or stops immediately. Man have I gotten some weird answers. I’ll have some great examples listed below.
I’ve also started dating someone y’all! I know me. We have been on like 4 dates and it’s going okay. It’s not anything spectacular and he is nothing like anyone I have ever dated. He has tats everywhere and a tongue piercing. Yup I said tongue piercing lol. I’ll let you know what thats all about in another post. I’m trying to feel him out to see if I actually like him. Let’s call him “Tongue Ring”.
Golden Rule: Date a guy with a tongue ring, things get interesting.
Tips For Guys: Date a girl with a tongue ring, everyone needs to have this experience.