Keep Swimming

Hello Everyone!

So I am one of the lucky people who lost their jobs due to this pandemic and am literally on my 4th month of losing my mind,…… I mean 4th month of meditation. I know people think staying home is easy and it definitely is a lot easier than what many other countries have had to do during a pandemic. However, I am literally going bonkers. Treat this like a vacation everyone says, but at least on vacation I know that I would still be getting paid from my job.

I am so uneasy and isolated. Literally the theme of my quarantine. The government mandates us not to see people so we don’t see people. It also doesn’t help that my friends all live at least 45 minutes away and have bolstering social calendars.

I can’t figure out if I am isolated or self isolating. They are all still working so I feel like I don’t have much to discuss with them. My boyfriend is still working as well. So basically no one that I speak to on the regular, understands how hard it is to not feel insane. I don’t want to say the D word but sometimes I feel it coming on.

Being off for 4 months doesn’t mean I did many summer like things with all my time off either. Many places are closed due to our impending doom aka covid 19. The people I want to spend time with are all working and don’t have time off. So this all blows.

I also of late have been having this feeling, that I could be doing so much more with my life. Like every time I have an idea to do something out of the box, I talk myself out of it. These past few months I have been trying to work on myself, but its hard for all that work to stick. I have honestly tried the positivity thing, like see all the good and not focus on the bad. It’s just all hard to do when you don’t feel great, but we must all fight on.

Quarantine Tips: Just keep swimming!

Things That Girls Do….

Hi Ladies,

So this weekend was quite interesting.

Friday;

Absolutely wonderful. Work sucked but then after I got to see Brad and we ordered pizza and we had amazing, passionate sex. I felt so close to him, physically and emotionally. I love when we connect like that, it literally re-affirms that he is this amazing human and I am so happy he’s all mine.

Saturday;

On this particular Saturday Brad had to work until 4 PM, when he normally works  until like 1 PM. I was pretty bummed on his behalf because I would hate to have to work my whole Saturday away. So when he’s at work, he gets busy and of course being busy = not much attention. Me being an attention hoarder has had to get use to that overtime. I am fairly aware that I require more attention than most. I’m working on that lol.

So at times when he’s at work and not paying attention to me or at least less than the usual amount. Or even texting me back but not like anything engaging, it usually has to do with his company at work. Brad works in a female dominated field and much of his co-workers are women. I am sure I have mentioned this before lol. Since I have been in a relationship for a year; I would like to think that I have matured, have become less jealous and is just generally all around a bigger person. I will try to describe this situation with some sophistication.

I have noticed over the year, that when Brad is working with one particular co-worker is simultaneously when his attention is less engaging. We have had chats about this co-worker and she seems to be a subject of contention in our relationship. Brad has known this girl for a long time and when they get together they have tons to catch up on and talk about. They have a lot in common and rarely get to work together. They share relationship problems and give each other advice and things of that nature. In this scenario, is it fair for me to be jealous or dismayed that when he works with her he is simply having more fun that other nights and that leads to me not getting the standard attention that I’m use to?

Needless to say, we got in a fight about this. The fight was mainly because I didn’t know he was working with her but I did notice him being disengaged. Then when I found out that coincidentally he was working with this lassie, I became enraged. Am I insecure? Maybe… she’s been in his  life a long time, they have a lot in common and she’s blonde.

So we got into a fight right before we had to go to a backyard movie night planned by one of my friends. We tried to resolve it before we went and we did come to a solution. The solution is that I need to be more understanding that on these particular instances I will most likely get less attention, and that Brad will actively make an effort to give me the same level of attention.

We went to the party, had a good time and left.

Sunday;

Woke up together, I was still having fight flashbacks. So, do all girls do that thing where they re play every bit of a fight in their head, even though the argument is over and it should have been resolved?  I literally replayed everything that was said a million times and started feeling crappy about it all over again. I then started feeling insecure, wondering why this particular person is able to engulf so much of Brad’s attention. In the end I just needed a girls day. I hung out with one of my friends and I just felt better after stepping away from the situation.

I’m in love with Brad and as of right now, he’s not only my boyfriend, he’s pretty much one of my best friends. I tell him everything. I depend on him for guidance, company and affection. But is that too much? I’ve  decided to just reign it in for a while. I am working on my attention issue. I hate being jealous or feeling like I’m sharing him at any point but I have to be rational. I have to understand that he really likes this girl as a friend and that their interaction is not inappropriate in any way.

I have to be mature about this.

P.S. When this girl confesses her undying love for him for always being such a good friend, I will definitely let you guys know.

Golden Rule: If your significant other is giving you less attention at times, try to understand it.

Tips For Guys: Give your girl attention. Trust me, it will make her a happy clam.

 

Summer Summer Summer Time.

Hi Ladies!

I know I haven’t been writing much lately and that’s not good! Life is definitely getting in the way of my juicy relationship stories.

What’s been going on with Brad and I, you ask? He has been getting to know the family. He has been to several family events and he is now very familiar with members of my clan. They like him too but is he getting overwhelmed? Yes. Can he remember everyone’s names? Nope, but that’s natural. To be honest he’s only met less than a quarter of my family. I’m easing him in slowly. (That’s what she said)

We officially had a talk with my mom about buying a house together. She was pretty chill about the talk but I can tell she is melting inside like butter in a microwave. She is scared for her baby girl to leave her, live with a man and for me to be on my own. She’s also scared to be on her own. Who can blame her? These are all completely rational fears.

I’ll keep you posted on how and when buying a house with Brad goes. Who knew we would get here? Time sure flies when you are dating a committed, loving man. Remember in my earlier blogs when I thought this wouldn’t happen? Yeah me too. He’s not perfect but I love his imperfections. I’ll talk about those in another post. Lol.

Ladies, there is Hope yet.

Being single is still hard I’m sure, but I’m not single anymore. I don’t wanna jinx it though.

Golden Rule: If you want to buy a house with your lover, try to not already buy one with your parent.

Tips for guys: Commitment is everything. Girls love a guy who can commit.