Tag Archives: lonely

I’m Single Again and It Sucks

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Unlike my other horror dating stories or my usual break ups, this one was my call. Though tongue ring really tried and spent a lot of time with me, i just felt something wasn’t quite right. I just thought we didn’t have enough in common and I really didn’t want to waste both our times.

Even though I pulled the plug, I still feel like shit. I literally cried one whole weekend day and am now in a very mopey mood. I just hate the thought of hurting someone. I feel bad that maybe tongue ring thought we had something and I just didn’t. Is this all my fault? Am I the weird one? Am I just not good at relationships? I don’t know. All I know is that everyone around me is magically falling in-love and getting married and I’m not.

Honestly my threshold for worry is at an all time high about being alone forever. When I worry this much I usually just roll over and take a nap. This  time I’m going to to try and remove myself from all the social pressures. If I’m going to be single forever I just am. We don’t know what life has in store and honestly I don’t care. I just don’t want to worry anymore or force anything.

I know that every time one of my friends post a cute couply photo this summer I’m going to feel it. Every time one of my friends get engaged or talk about getting engaged I’m going to feel it. I’m going to feel lonely as shit. I already am, it almost makes me regret my decision but why be with someone when you aren’t 100% feeling it, when they could be spending that time with they’re Mrs. Right.

So what will I do all summer, while everyone is off with they’re other halves? Work on me, catch up on all things TV, learn how to knit, go to the gym? I don’t know, I have a long winding single summer ahead of me. The possibilities are endless lol.

Side note; If Meghan can find her prince at 36, why can’t I? Maybe the lucky number is 36. After that I will be royally screwed. Also I’m no where close to 36 ya’ll so calm down.

Golden Rule: I Suck.

Tips for Guys: I Suck.

She’s So Quiet

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So this one isn’t about being single necessarily but I guess its kind of connected. I just gotta rant for a second. So I guess some might describe me as an introvert because I’m not the loudest person in the room. I like people and can make friends pretty easy but if i’m in a room with people who enjoy attention, I let them have it. In my mind I feel like if attention is what you need to feel relevant, then go for it. What I do hate though is when they label me as quiet when I never have a chance to speak. I literally can’t get a word in and then they are like “oh she is just so quiet”. I have literally been labelled as the quiet or soft spoken person my entire life and each time it shocks me a bit. I literally think ” I am?” I thought I was speaking at a relevant interval.

Its just like these days there is this culture of everyone speaking up  and speaking over everyone else. I mean like fully interrupting and shit just to seem smart or to show that you are working harder or something. Like I don’t interrupt people because its hella rude. In a work setting or social setting I speak at a decent amount but danggg. Then it seems like you aren’t smart enough or working as hard because you literally never get a chance to speak.

Same in my relationships. I hate confrontation and find it super hard to willingly butt heads with my partner. I tell them when I am not happy and not cool with stuff but in no way am I going to do it public or even do it in a confrontational or condescending tone. And that’s just because its not how I would want to be treated.

It just sucks that you get under estimated when you aren’t loud and obnoxious. That’s cool though because you know your own potential and don’t need confirmation from anyone. You know all the work you put in, real work not fake work. You know what you are doing is legit and will pay off. I don’t work for people or to impress people. I work for myself, to make my own money and to improve myself.

I have great big dreams and me the “soft spoken and quiet” one intends to achieve every single one of them.

Golden Rule: You don’t have put anyone down to feel better about yourself. Have a conversation with people don’t speak over them.

Tips for dudes: Respect a girl who talks to you with respect and reciprocate that.

Upcoming Nuptials & Adulting

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Hi Ladies! My  friend’s wedding is exactly 20 days away and I’m freaking out. Its a very big and eventful day. Also one of my closest friends will be someone’s wife soon. I’m going to have to call her Mrs. The next big event for her will be having a baby. This is crazy ya’ll.

Also as I’m getting older or maturing, I’m like seriously figuring people out. The best thing about getting older is getting wiser. Like you start to know who are your real friends and who aren’t. You get to the phase where you don’t care what people do because they always acts in they’re own best interest. Time to accept friendships that have deteriorated and to work on the people who really show you they care. You start to figure out yourself and start to actually like yourself which is so important.

I like me and I know I need some improvements but I’m working on them. Looking for that special person who likes me as much as I do. Tongue ring is still present but we are taking it slow and I’m hoping that its going in a positive direction.

Golden Rule: Being an adult is hard.

Tips For Dudes: Encourage your girl to figure herself out, she’ll help you figure stuff out too don’t worry.

Status Confirmed

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Happy Spring Ladies!

There has been a few developments since the last time we chatted lol. Tongue Ring made it official and has confirmed that we are indeed in a relationship. He asked me to be his GF, so it doesn’t get more official than that. I figure that maybe he didn’t want to label the relationship too quickly because past relationships were probably messed up.

In other news, we sealed the deal if you know what I mean. (wink wink). Lets just say the tongue ring was definitely an asset. Oh please date a guy with a tongue ring before you settle down if you have the chance LOL. Which most people don’t because they are already married and I am way behind the game. OMG this is going to a dark place all of a sudden.

Besides that everything is pretty normal. Went to Niagara Falls for a family getaway which was nice. I am having a late-twenties crisis which is also normal. I am dating someone again after giving up so many times in the past. Typical late-twenties stuff. Is everyone still getting married around me? YUP.

Its now random people on FB that I knew when I was like 15 and man does it suck. People who I thought would never get married…. so you know, that’s fun. I have been actively trying not to compare my life to others though, so lets see how that goes.

Golden Rule: Don’t Compare Yourself to Others!

Tips for Dudes: Make your girl knows you’re official, just so she has some peace of mind.

No Take Backs

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Hey Guys, just feel like ranting today. I have sadly figured out the hard way that there are “No Take Backs” in relationships. Whatever you say or do; it’s out there and it just sticks. I have ruined a lot of relationships because of my actions and a lot of relationships were ruined by things guys have said or done to me. Right now I feel like shit and the reason is a guy. Not sure if its my fault or his but I feel like shit. Relationships are hard, especially if they are one sided.

Sometimes I think what I’m looking for just doesn’t exist anymore. I’m just looking for that thing that people write about or sing about. That thing that some of our parents had. That thing where you wanted to share your life with someone. I guess I just haven’t been fortunate enough to find it.

Will I keep looking? Honestly not sure…. trying to find something that doesn’t exist, doesn’t really make sense.

Update on Tongue-ring: We are still not a couple which I was reminded of yesterday. We are still hanging and I’m just going with the flow at this point.

No golden rule this week. If you have any advice for me, I will take it because I am out of ideas LOL.

Also can you believe what Tristan Thompson did to Khloe?! I mean if she can get cheated on, why am I even trying. That guy’s crazy. When will guys learn? Do they ever regret anything?

Rant Over.

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Just Hanging Out

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Hey Ladies, How was your East long weekend? Mine was fabulous as I went to Vegas!!! It was wonderful. I had a seriously good time and Vegas is beautiful. If you ever have a chance to go please do. I partied so much that I lost my voice on my way back from all the screaming. I also went to the Magic Mike Show and let me tell you, those boys are fiiinnneeee.

In other news, tongue ring and I are still hanging out. Its been a month now and he has made it pretty clear that we aren’t a couple or exclusive. Like I’ve asked and that’s what he said lol. So basically we are just hanging out. Man is dating hard, I don’t even know if we are dating. Its been pretty exclusive for me on my end but not really sure whats happening on his. I’ll see where this takes us, but I’m pretty confused. Guys usually try to lock me down if they like me.

Golden Rule: Go To Vegas!!!

Tips for Guys: Define a relationship before the girl you are seeing gets confused.

 

My Top 5 Date Ideas

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Hi Ladies! These top 5 date ideas are literally just the top 5 dates that I have been on. Needless to say, this is prompted by a recent awesome date lol. So last night, tongue-ring took me to an impromptu hockey game. My first hockey game ever. Can I just say…. Its freaking cool. If you get a chance to go, please do. Even if you are not into Hockey, its just such a fun environment. Also if you have gone millions of times before and think that I am super late then…well…whatever to you too lol.

How goes it with tongue-ring you ask? Well it’s going good. According to him we aren’t a couple yet so I have to just simmer down. Still haven’t experienced the full extent of the tongue ring yet, which means I’m being a very good girl. I’ll let you know if anything crazy happens.

So lets get to the dates shall we? I have been really into lists lately, right?

  1. Drive In Movie Theater – OMG this was the funnest date ever. You are stuck in a car with a guy that you like while watching 2 kick ass movies. I highly recommend this date. Lots of talking, laughing and making out takes place.
  2. Hockey Game – Yaaaaas Queens, It was fun as hell. I wish I could have drank more but I had work the next day. It actually almost makes me wanna pay attention to sports.
  3. Casino Date – This was a super fun date because I don’t gamble ever and so it was just fun to let him teach me the ropes. Also they pump extra oxygen in there so you feel super alive, even if you are losing all your money.
  4. Snowfall Bar Date – So this one was only fun because all we did was drink. Then it snowed and it was beautiful outside. He then took me home to meet his dogs.  This was “dumped me two days before Christmas” dude. Not the nicest guy to me, but really special first date.
  5. Mexican Restaurant  – Have I ever mentioned how much I love food? Especially good Mexican food. I had only one date with this guy and wasn’t really feeling him. This date was awesome though because of the food. We literally only had nachos and sangria… but DANG was it good. If we had gotten enchiladas I probably would have married this guy. He missed out on not wanting to order more stuff lol.

I know these ideas aren’t ideal but if you have a chance to do any of them, please do!

I’m also heading to VEEEGGGAAASSS this weekend! I am so excited!!! Its going to be lit and who knows what stories I will come home with. Stay Tuned!

Golden Rule: Cherish all your dates, even when the guys turn out to be sucky. When you meet the right guy, you’ll know all the fun places to go.

Tips for Guys: Take your girl on fun dates, maybe places she hasn’t been before. She will definitely dig you a little more.

 

What are you looking for?

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These are the 5 worst words to utter while online dating. As soon as you ask this question, the conversation either gets really weird or stops immediately. Man have I gotten some weird answers. I’ll have some great examples listed below.

I’ve also started dating someone y’all! I know me. We have been on like 4 dates and it’s going okay. It’s not anything spectacular and he is nothing like anyone I have ever dated. He has tats everywhere and a tongue piercing. Yup I said tongue piercing lol. I’ll let you know what thats all about in another post. I’m trying to feel him out to see if I actually like him. Let’s call him “Tongue Ring”.

Golden Rule: Date a guy with a tongue ring, things get interesting.

Tips For Guys: Date a girl with a tongue ring, everyone needs to have this experience.

How Many Times Can Your Heart Be Broken?

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Being single is rough and if you are in the right relationship be thankful. Just a quick update on me. Nothing really going on, barely dating… haven’t really found anyone worth it.  Works good, family is you know family. So life overall is good. I’m not ignorant to the fact that life could be worse but feeling super alone in whatever circumstance sucks. What does feeling alone make you do?

It makes you reach out to your past. It makes you start caring about people again. It makes you think, that maybe this person likes you. Hey, maybe he cares about your well being. In reality though, he doesn’t. Doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result is called insanity. I have blogged about moving forward a million times but what happens when something always pull you back.

What happens when you feel connected to someone who honestly doesn’t give a shit. Its hard to shake, but I have to shake it. How many times can one person break your heart? Umm maybe like 7, I counted. How can the opinion of one person make you feel so small and discouraged? Or the lack there of an opinion in this case.

I can’t wait to be in love and married to someone who values the person I am for what I am. When looking back at this, will just be a memory and not my reality.

No Golden Rule today and no advice. I need some advice on this one, even though I know what I have to do.

Feeling Shitty but looking to the future with a slither of hope. A really tiny slither but one none the less.

On To The Next One

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Hello Ladies! I haven’t posted in a while and I apologize. I have been busy, but not in a relationship busy so don’t worry. Your girl is still single and V-day is still a problem.  It’s on Wednesday! Boooo! I am wondering if I can go through that entire day and just pretend that nothing’s happening? Yeah probably not.  I have too many friends that are loved up for that one. Instagram is probably going to be a barf fest but I digress.  I need to start loving love even though I am really bad at it and it doesn’t seem to love me back.

What have I been doing you might ask? Fighting with my insurance company, which takes a lot of energy I might add. We are debating Jasmine’s fate. (My Car) Other than that , I have been whining like a baby about being single and that no one likes me. That’s takes a lot of energy too. My friend at work whom I torture with my complaints (sorry girl) literally told me that I need to stop Back tracking. She said “Leave them all behind, and just say on to the next one.” And you know what she is right. When I backtrack nothing good ever comes of it, like ever.

This week I backtracked with Picky Eater a bit. I know! The horror, the shame! It doesn’t matter because nothing came of it. I literally wanted to be with him again and he literally said no, no progress was made at all. He is now in the dust.  (Another one bites the dust)

I am officially on to the next guy. No more wasting time. My biological clock is ticking! Is there a next guy you may ask? The answer is yes. I am not ready to unveil him to the world yet. I am keeping him hidden away like he’s the next iphone. The one that can finally cook you dinner and comes with a live robot of Siri. Yeah that definitely sounds like an episode of Black Mirror.

Being Single is hard when your biological clock is ticking so loud you can’t hear yourself think.

In the meantime please take a look at some of the really nice messages I have been getting on POF. There are some real charmers out there.

Golden Rule: Don’t look back, just move forward.

Tips For Guys: Leave your ex-girlfriends alone. Let them get over you.

bobbyCurvy or Busty