Defense Mechanism

Hi guys so I just came back from a trip. I went to Maine. It was beautiful and peaceful; it was exactly the break I needed from my fast paced life of being bored at work and rushing home to watch Netflix. The struggle is real right?

Picky Eater has been amazing, texting me every day and trying his very hardest for me to become attached. Like who texts good morning every morning without fail? Weirdos that’s who. OMG I’m kidding, I love it.

What’s happening right now is that I am stopping myself from falling in love. My constant angst and rants to my good friend who works with me (who sadly has to listen to my word diarrhea daily; sorry girl.) is about how when he doesn’t talk to me for 2-3 hours, I feel like he might ghost me. I’m like constantly reassuring myself that if he walks away from this relationship right now, I need to be prepared and not totally be shattered. It’s been like a month and I am already so invested in this relationship. I am not pressuring him for a title or anything; I’m just going with the flow and trying to be totally nonchalant.

He has no idea how crazy I am because us girls know that we have to keep the crazy in until he puts a ring on it… right? That’s what I have heard anyway as I am nowhere close to marriage (crying emoji).

So to stop myself from falling I am literally as we speak constructing the Great Wall of China around my heart. I am not going to let him all the way in until I feel comfortable. This is my defense mechanism. I need to not feel so on edge and honestly I wouldn’t be if I wasn’t so messed up from other heart breaks. It’s not fair to him, but I have to do this for my own sake. He thinks I’m falling in love with him, which is absolutely accurate but I gotta put some brakes on that.

So the big question here on everyone’s minds is did we have sex? The answer to that is none of your business really but yes we did; which totally doesn’t help my serious attachment issues. Yes it was pleasurable.

Pleasurable Sex + Super Romantic Guy = God Help Me.

Being Single is hard when you are dating someone, sheesh.

Golden Rule: Don’t let him into your heart until you are ready, keep those defenses up.

Tips For Guys: Good morning texts are the way to a girl’s heart.

Defense

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