Tag Archives: girls

Hot Mess

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What is a hot mess you might ask, well that would be my personal life. I literally think I am doomed to make terrible decisions and choose the wrong guys. Is every guy before Mr. Right supposed to be terribly wrong? Sometimes I feel like my life is a horror movie, maybe like Friday the 13th. This would make sense as every time I have sex, I feel like I get bludgeoned to death by an upset man-boy who was teased at summer camp. Not following? Okay I will dive into all my wrong doings. I think I should change my blog name to “being single is hard as hell and you should probably stop trying”. What do you guys think, too long? Lol.

So, I did not end it with my fling like I said I would. In fact it just got more intense, and our sex….well let’s just say it is currently unbelievable. Now you may be rolling your eyes and thinking… “it can’t be that good”. But I am telling you, after our sex I am literally floating on a cloud talking to little fairy people. No I am not currently high on cannabis. I just want to reiterate that the sex is mind blowing. Like even he admitted it and we all know that’s rare because a guy’s capacity to express anything verbally is quite limited. Sorry guys don’t mean to throw you under the bus there but that has been my experience.

The reason my life is a hot mess is because this guy is clouding my judgement. He has literally got me wrapped around his finger. I think about him constantly and I just want to be with him. He is literally a black hole, sucking me in and I feel like I have no control. He makes me think that we have something special, but just when I think everything is perfect he pushes me away. I am so confused and I have no idea what he is thinking or if he is even thinking about me.  I ignore all other male attention because somewhere deep inside I feel like I am taken, which is NOT the case.

I however have approached a break through. I am not going to invest too much into this relationship. I will keep you guys posted on any updates. More online dating debacles to come, be on standby.

Now you see right….. I’m a Hot Mess.

Golden Rule:  Ladies do not get caught in a sex black hole. Find your way out of the sex haze before it’s too late!

Tips for Guys: Please be straight up with us; just let us know if you are feeling what we are.

The Art of Ghosting

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Ghosting is a tricky beast. When should I ghost? Who should I ghost? The answer is never and no one. The real question is “what would it feel like if I were ghosted?”. Needless to say through my horrific online dating experiences I have been ghosted multiple times. I try my best not to ghost people because I don’t think it’s fair. This person actually liked you enough to speak with you, so unless this person is giving off a serious Freddy Cougar vibe please politely decline. The worst type of ghosting is when you have been actively texting a guy for maybe two full days and out of nowhere he unfriends you on Facebook and never replies to your messages.  Its like “what the heck did I do? I just asked what you were having for dinner.”

If you are online dating and you say you have not been ghosted or have not been the “ghostee” (new word, patent pending), you are totally lying. Even I, the self-righteous blogger have ghosted. But only when things have gotten really weird. I try not to ghost until it’s absolutely necessary. Cases such as these:

Comelivewithme2

maniac2

Third Person2

 

Golden Rule: Ghosting is bad until absolutely necessary.

Tips for Guys: Stop being weird, sheesh!

And His Name Was “Hunting Cap”

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Hello Ladies! I’m sorry I left you for a bit again. I was once again trying out a relationship which was empty and void as most are. This time I was skeptical thanks to my previous bout with “almost love”.  I was suspicious the entire time. Within two weeks of talking to this guy he asked me to be his GF. No idea why that fast but I wasn’t really in a position to say no (as I desperately wanted to be someone’s GF). I was eager to jump into something else because my ex told me he found his soulmate and had to leave me. I was adamant at showing him that I could find my soul mate too. Evidently I can’t as I am the author of a singles blog lol.

So it was a whirl wind, we dated for about a month. (This is my new record lol) In the beginning it was all texts all the time. He was there for me through a bit of a tough time in my life. (let’s just say 2017 hasn’t been a cake walk.)  I knew deep down this guy wasn’t the one, but I thought “there is no reason he couldn’t be Mr. Right Now”. I desperately wanted to give this guy a chance. After about 2 weeks the text messaging got really light. Maybe like 1 a day. (much like the ladies vitamin which I seriously recommend. Especially the gummies but I digress.) So this guy or shall we call him “Hunting Cap” was in school and also worked very odd hours which I was very much aware of when I entered the relationship. However he assured me more than once that he would make time to see me and hang out with me.  When the texts started getting light I tried to break it off, as I felt myself having anxiety constantly waiting for a text from my so called “Boyfriend”. When I tried to break it off, he literally begged me not to. He said he could make this work and that he didn’t want to just give up. So he got a second chance.

I don’t want to drag this on but this story ends with him ignoring me on a day when I planned to celebrate his upcoming birthday. I bought cheesecake for him (I strongly dislike cheesecake), I got his favorite beer and was fully ready to order takeout. Invited him over to my house to have a special pre-birthday hang out, I thought I was being nice. Apparently this sounded like a day in a hell dimension to “Hunting Cap”.  He didn’t text me for like a full maybe 24-36 hours. While I text him like 100 times asking where he was?….what he was doing?…was he still coming? I was met with radio silence. I finally indicated through text that we were over and that I couldn’t carry on in a relationship like this. The following day he simply explained that he left his phone at his friend’s house. HIS FRIEND’S HOUSE! Sorry for yelling but is that not just the lamest excuse in the book.  Then he stated that he didn’t have time for me and that I should go find myself someone who had time for me (slap in the face much?). That was the end of that. So 2/2 relationships tried ended in disaster.  I am currently on a dating hiatus…. I call it Man free March. My idea of man free though does not discount my occasional tryst which just keeps all my needs met if you know what I am saying (wink, wink.)  Don’t worry I am not keeping secrets, there will be an impending blog post coming up with the details.

So why do we call him hunting cap you ask? That’s what he got me for my birthday. A hunting cap… A HUNTING CAP! There has been a lot of yelling in this post and I do apologize. I repetitively told him that I would never go hunting with him as that was his thing. But what does he get his ultra girly girlfriend for her birthday. A hunting cap. Not a bath bomb from Lush, which should be every guy’s go to…. But a hunting cap. Okay rant over. Picture of hunting cap below, please let me know if anyone would like to take it off my hands.

Golden Rule:  Try not to date a guy who has too much on his plate, as it makes for a lot of anxiety on your end.

Tips For Guys: Never buy a girl a hunting cap for any occasion, not even if she is actually going hunting with you. If Kate Spade starts a line of hunting caps this tip may be altered.

hunting cap