Tag Archives: relationships

Hot Mess

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What is a hot mess you might ask, well that would be my personal life. I literally think I am doomed to make terrible decisions and choose the wrong guys. Is every guy before Mr. Right supposed to be terribly wrong? Sometimes I feel like my life is a horror movie, maybe like Friday the 13th. This would make sense as every time I have sex, I feel like I get bludgeoned to death by an upset man-boy who was teased at summer camp. Not following? Okay I will dive into all my wrong doings. I think I should change my blog name to “being single is hard as hell and you should probably stop trying”. What do you guys think, too long? Lol.

So, I did not end it with my fling like I said I would. In fact it just got more intense, and our sex….well let’s just say it is currently unbelievable. Now you may be rolling your eyes and thinking… “it can’t be that good”. But I am telling you, after our sex I am literally floating on a cloud talking to little fairy people. No I am not currently high on cannabis. I just want to reiterate that the sex is mind blowing. Like even he admitted it and we all know that’s rare because a guy’s capacity to express anything verbally is quite limited. Sorry guys don’t mean to throw you under the bus there but that has been my experience.

The reason my life is a hot mess is because this guy is clouding my judgement. He has literally got me wrapped around his finger. I think about him constantly and I just want to be with him. He is literally a black hole, sucking me in and I feel like I have no control. He makes me think that we have something special, but just when I think everything is perfect he pushes me away. I am so confused and I have no idea what he is thinking or if he is even thinking about me.  I ignore all other male attention because somewhere deep inside I feel like I am taken, which is NOT the case.

I however have approached a break through. I am not going to invest too much into this relationship. I will keep you guys posted on any updates. More online dating debacles to come, be on standby.

Now you see right….. I’m a Hot Mess.

Golden Rule:  Ladies do not get caught in a sex black hole. Find your way out of the sex haze before it’s too late!

Tips for Guys: Please be straight up with us; just let us know if you are feeling what we are.

Threesome?

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No I didn’t have a threesome you perverts, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t asked. Which is flattering but also a bit creepy considering all I said was “Hey!”  After my rough go of online dating you must be wondering….. “Why is she trying again?” The answer is, because I am crazy. Alright now that we are passed that, let’s tackle this cumbersome threesome issue.  (Saw what I did there?) When a guy asks you if you would ever have a threesome… what should your response be?  I have a friend that was asked, by her boyfriend at the time. He asked, “Would you have a threesome?” To which she replied “Sure!” Then she added “You, me and another guy right?”.  The topic of a threesome was never  discussed again. So that’s a good way to handle it.

The way that I handle it is that I block the person on the dating site and never speak to them again. The thing is though; guys really do ask this question a lot. My theory is, if I’m really your favorite girl…. Why would you want to share me? Like I have a favorite pair of shoes and there is no way I am lending that out, not even for one night. Not even if I was going to be in the same place with the person who was wearing it for the whole duration of them wearing it. It’s just not happening. Now I am just angry about someone wearing my favorite pair of shoes but I digress.

I am an uber jealous person so the idea of a threesome just doesn’t work for me. Guys think of it as a fantasy, but would they really want to try it with the woman that they intend to commit to? If a guy brings that up with you… is he really serious about you or your relationship? Ladies! Let me know.

Golden Rule: Never lend out your favorite pair of shoes.

Tips for guys: If you aren’t cool with a two guys, one girl threesome scenario then don’t even bother asking about it. If you are cool with it, we need to have a whole other discussion.

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The Art of Ghosting

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Ghosting is a tricky beast. When should I ghost? Who should I ghost? The answer is never and no one. The real question is “what would it feel like if I were ghosted?”. Needless to say through my horrific online dating experiences I have been ghosted multiple times. I try my best not to ghost people because I don’t think it’s fair. This person actually liked you enough to speak with you, so unless this person is giving off a serious Freddy Cougar vibe please politely decline. The worst type of ghosting is when you have been actively texting a guy for maybe two full days and out of nowhere he unfriends you on Facebook and never replies to your messages.  Its like “what the heck did I do? I just asked what you were having for dinner.”

If you are online dating and you say you have not been ghosted or have not been the “ghostee” (new word, patent pending), you are totally lying. Even I, the self-righteous blogger have ghosted. But only when things have gotten really weird. I try not to ghost until it’s absolutely necessary. Cases such as these:

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Golden Rule: Ghosting is bad until absolutely necessary.

Tips for Guys: Stop being weird, sheesh!

The Notebook Theory

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So my biggest fear in life is being the widow from the Notebook. You know the one… the lady that is sleeping with Noah while he isn’t with Allie. I believe her name was Martha Shaw.  What if everyone else’s life including my ex boyfriends is their own personal version of the notebook. Ever feel like everyone out there is finding their true love while you are stuck being Martha Shaw? The widow that was the dinner making, sex having pit stop for Noah until Allie came back. So this is a pretty dark theory based on some personal issues (see previous post “Sweet Nothings”).

For some reason I think that I met and lost something special because my ex, (let’s call him “Noah”) is off being in-love with someone else and its posted all over social media. Sure it’s up to me not to go clicking but who can really resist. I need to see their life and if they are happy even though it tortures me. Has anyone ever been through this?

I mean where are the nice guys? Who actually mean it when they say they want a relationship? Are we meeting the nice guys too late and they have already fallen in love with someone else? I leave you with a sweet yet a little creepy message I received on my dating App. If only this guy was normal. See message below.

Golden Rule: Trying to figure out your love life may lead to some weird theories.

Tips for Guys: Please, Please! If you are in love with someone else, don’t go on a dating site claiming that you are looking for a relationship.

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