Paradox

Hi Ladies,

It’s been a while. I haven’t been writing that much, and its not that nothing is happening in my life. Its actually exactly the opposite, so much is happening. Things are happening at work, things are in the works for buying a house with Brad and things are happening in my now almost two year relationship.

Look at me being in a relationship for almost two years. Of-course we all know this is a learning curve for me, especially with my track record of ex boyfriends. There are so many new and interesting discussions that Brad and I have that I have never even thought of talking to another human about.

Like for one, we argue about my faith a lot and his lack thereof. Brad does not believe in God, he believes in science. I don’t think the two oppose or disproves each other, I am one of those weirdos who think they go hand in hand. (Like Darwin, he was a devout Christian, look it up!)

Needless to say we have had some pretty heated arguments about this. We debate on what religion our children would be. That would be an example of one of those conversations I never thought I would have. In the end we just have to agree to disagree as we are both pretty firm on our points.

The next thing that has come up in our relationship is SEX. If you have been with me from the start you know the nature of some of my past relationships. They were primarily just sex. And now my relationship is so much more than sex and I super have to adjust to that. I need to not treat Brad like a piece of meat, which I do sometimes. Man, being in a relationship has a huge learning curve.

Here’s the bit I have been having to learn the most. Being happy on my own and not being reliant on Brad for happiness. He has actually expressed this to me many times. Here is where I struggle ladies. I have a great job, I am sexy, I am smart but I also absolutely thought your relationship was where you put all your emotional energies. Like I still, at this point, want to be with Brad all the time. As life would have it, he is the total opposite. He doesn’t want to see me all the time, or he can manage without it. I’m not so good at managing that.

I equate happiness as being in a happy relationship but Brad says that’s not the case. So I have been on my quest for happiness outside of my relationship. Life is hard sometimes, so that’s kind of tricky but I am determined on finding it.

Brad is literally always happy, he’s like Will Ferrel in Elf. Where as I’m the Grinch. so needless to say, I have some cheering up to do.

Have I mentioned that every other person that I know has become engaged in the last month. Every time I see an engagement ring on social media and literally hear my eggs crying out to me. The biological clock is no lie, but I think only women can hear it ticking away.

Those are the major updates. I am adjusting to life in a serious relationship which should also not be my only source of JOY. What a paradox eh?

Golden Rule: Find your own happiness.

Tips for Guys: If everyone is getting engaged, maybe you should too? or is that too jump off a cliffy? (I just made that word up)

 

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